Mpumezo: (Ekhwaza) “Nilele na bazalwane? Niskhona! MAAAAALLLLLIIIIIIBBBBBOOOOONNG
Ibandla: (Abanye sebeme ngeenyawo, abanye beyiyizela, abanye besenza nje ingxolo emnandi)
Mpumezo: (Elungisa ibhrukhwe yakhe, kunye neqhina) “Ndizothatha imali! Mazilunge izipaji! Nani boo mama tshonani ederi, madoda khuphani kootokhwe, ndifuna senze kanje bangcwele...! Haleluya! Ndicela usiphamisele phezulu isipaji sakho! Sikhuphe! Sikhuphe! Sikhuphe! Ukubana ngaba awunaso isipaji, wubambe umnikelo wakho! Uwubambe ngesandla! Phakamisa! Phakamisa! OH Yes Jesus! (Wathetha ngezilwimi umfo engatyhilekanga ebusweni) Phakamisa umnikelo wakho! Master Jesus! Ndicela ukuba uphethe umnikelo weR1000 uze ngaphambili ndikusikelele! OH Yes God! (Benyuka, kodwa beliqaqobana) Bless you in the name of Jesus! Amen! (Waphinda watya kwizilwimi unkabile) Ndicela ukuba uzonikela ngeR200 ukuya kwi R500 baleka uzothatha intsikelelo yakho ngoku! In mighty wonderful name of Jesus! (Kwek! Noko lenyuka inani kwaye wababeka izandla nabo) Bless you! (Unento ke nokutyana nezizilwimi) Ukuba uzonikela ngeR10 ukuya kwiR100 iza khawuleza! (Iyhooooooo! Phantse umndilili wonke wenyuka! Uzijiwuzisa iR10, R20, R50 kunye neeR100. Sekukho naba banikela ngeenkozo ke Nkosi yam) Ndicela abantu ababuya iiEnvelops bangcwele bazi zise ngoku apha kum! Ufaka isishumi sakho, umnikelo wakho! Buyisa lomvlophu ngoku! Abasafuna imvlophu mabeze kuzithatha nazi! Haleluya!”
Wawungafunga ukuba uMpumezo ebethengisa iintloko zegusha ndlela le yayicumbe ngayo la mali kwesasitya inga sesokuhlambela. Ininzi, kwek! Andinayo nepeni emdaka ke mna eloxesha.
Wakhweba udad'uThembela umfo omkhulu akugqiba ukuyithandazela la mali uMpumezo. Wakugqiba wanikezela inkonzo kumfundisi ukuba adlise izimvu zika Thixo.
Ukuba torho bendikwazi ukushumayela, bendiyakuyichaza ngqo lantshumayelo kamfundisi, ntonje ndibethwa bubuhedeni apha kum. Kodwa endingakutsho; umfo omkhulu washumayela ngoYesu evusa uLazaro engcwabeni. Umyalezo wakhe usithi; “PHUMA ENGCWABENI” Kwek! Wabetha kwavokotheka umfundisi, evutha amalangatye omlilo, ebile ethe xhopho! Ikhola le yesheti yayimanzi toxo, kucaca ukuba umzimba uwkhupha onke amanzi. Kwakunzima kwisininzi; abanye begxwala; abanye bencwina; kuzizikhalo nezijwili ngapha; abanye ke benemihlali yintshumayelo yendoda enkulu; abanye bezibhuqa-bhuqa phantsi; abanye bexhome izandla phezulu; abanye inga bayaxhuzula mfondini; abanye inga babone isithunzela...! Wabe emile umfo wakwaThixo; “PHUMA ENGCWABENI”
Kweenyuka iinkitha eninzi ingabizwanga ukuyozamkelela uYesu...! Abanye bafike baguqa, abanye beme ngeenyawo, abanye yayinga bayalunywa bebambe eziswini. Kwek! Andifuni ukuxoka nam ndaya! Ndixhome ezam izandla nam, ndifuna loYesu kamfundisi, noMpumezo! Nam ndamkeliswa, ndathandazelwa!
Ukuphuma kwemvuselelo, yabaziziqhu ke abazalwanye becinga ukugoduka, abanye baleqa amaphela, abanye baya kwezabo iimoto, abanye nabo bethwakuza ngeenyawo. Abanye basala beqoqosha ke apha ententeni. Nanko ke uSizeka esecaleni kukaSiseko. Ndibona nje mhlophe ukuba uziyele pha engabizwanga, ngoba umfo lo yena uxakekile uyaqoqosha. Ngelingeni wabuyela kubahlobo bakhe omnye kucaca ukuba uyifumene kodwa inumber kaSiseko.
Mpumezo! Mfundisi! Makube uThembela ugqibile ukubala umnikelo ngoku”
Pastor: (Engamjonganga) “Dibana naye kaloku uqonde pha kuye!”
Mpumezo: “Kulungile mruti”
Wanyoshoza unkabi ukusondela kwindawo ehleli uThembela namanye amanenekazi.
Thembela: “Ewe bhuti ndigqibile! Iyonke izishumi neminikelo zenze iR9,458.80”
Mpumezo: “So, wenze njani ke? Ubanikile oKeyboard player imali yabo? Kunye noMC?
kunye neWorshippers? Eyombane yona sele uyikhuphile?”
Thembela: (Emnika iEnvelop) “Hay bhuti ngumsebenzi wenu kaloku lowo”
Mpumezo: “Kulungile ke nkosazana! Ndicela undilinde ke ungandishiyi”
Waye wamane enika lo kumele amnike imali, ngokwesiqingatha ekuvunyelwene ngaso. De wagqiba!
Pastor: (Esamkela imali) “Iphelele apha Brother Mpumezo?”
Mpumezo: (Enqwala ngentloko) “Ewe mfundisi”
Pastor: “Kulungile! Mamela ke! Kufuneka sithengise iOIL ke mzalwane wam! Wena, vuka kusasa uyoyikhangela! Nokuba ufumenene iOLIVE OIL, siyithandazele, siyifake intambiso kunye nogcobo lukaMoya oyiNgcwele...! Izakuba nceda abantu mzalwane wam”
Mpumezo: “Kulungile mfundisi! Ndizakwenza njalo nam! Ifumaneka phi kanene le oil? Ingaba asizudleka ngenxa yayo? Uyayazi kaloku amarhamente awafuni kukhupha mali, ngamagqolo”
Pastor: “Khululeka mzalwane wam! Bazakuwabona amandla eOIL wena! Bawakuthamba beze nomnikelo, nayo bayithnge! Uzakubona!”
Mpumezo: “Kanti ke mfundisi! Singayithenga neFISH OIL ze simane sithulula kuyo sigalela ezimbodleleni, abazuyazi ukuba yeyiphi, as long iyiOIL qha”
Pastor: “Kaloku mzalwane wam, nawe bona undlela lula, indlela engazusenza simkelwe yimali qha singenelwe yeninzi. Mna ndifuna ukude ndibethe ngomnyobo weBMW mfondini. Kaloku, asiphangeli, ngoku kumele nathi sizenzele imali, uyaqonda?”
Mpumezo: “Ndiyakuva tata! Yeka ndiyokucinga! UThembela undilindile, ndithe makandilinde! Sizakubonana ngomso! Uthe kushumayela bani kanene ngomso?”
Pastor: “Ndiplane uSiyabulela kaloku ngomso! Kodwa andimthembanga! Lidyudyu maaarn! Kwaye ligwala! Kuleveki yokuqala ndifuna ibesithi sodwa kuqala, sizikhele sanele! Kule izayo, ndizozisa amadoda kaNkulu-nkulu, abefundisi endihambisana nabo! Umgoduse ke uThembela! Bendiyomcela ngokwam kokwabo, kwaye uncede ungamlibazisi. Siyevana?”
Mpumezo: (Ehamba) “Kulungile Mruti”
Kulamnikelo, unikwe iR2500 yokunkala iOIL, ze yena, abe ezitswebele iR1655. Kwek lomzalwane! Unjani na yena?
UThembela werhuthu iR200 edibeneyo, kucaca nje uyikhupha phakathi kwezinye...!
Thembela: (Emnika) “Ndicela uthathe laR100 yakho undinike eyam. Ndizokwenza ngayo intloko lomali ngomso...!
Andidane kengoku...!
#DOUO
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