Monday 7 October 2013

Scene #2.3


It was now 00:50

Mpumezo and Thembela safely arived home and they were tired as hell from running. Thembela was shocked of what just happened, she was all shaking and breathing heavely. She couldn't stand long, her knees were shaking, her hand shaking and she was in tears.

Thembela: “Ndicela amanzi”
Mpumezo: (Getting her water) “Are you ok?”
Thembela: “How can you ask mes that kind of a question! No! I am not Ok!”
Mpumezo: (Giving her a glass of water) “You'd be fine. You'll see”
Thembela: “I wanna sleep! Can you organise hot water for me, please. I wanna take a warm bath before I sleep”
Mpumezo: “Cetainly...!”

Waphakama and plugged the a jug-kettle and garthered other items that Thembela will use to wash herself. Wabeka ikom namanzi okuxuba and wabeka isikipa esimdaka for Thembela to step on it xa ephuma ekomini. Water was now ready and he poured them ekomini.

Mpumezo: “Alungile amanzi”
Thembela: “Enkosi”

UThembela akakhange ahlambe imini yonke. Ukuhlamba yena ugqibele izolo elinye. Ukwalele nomfundisi enjalo. Wakhulula apha ngentla, waqalisa ukuhlamba. UMpumezo yena wathath ifowuni yakhe le ebeyishiye etshajeni, mwaya nayo ebhedini. Wavula iingubo kakuhle ngocoselelo, wakhulula naye, wangena ezingubeni eze. Ewe, waye eze enganxibanga nix.

Wajonga iphone yakhe wafika imiyalezo imininzi evela kuWhatsApp, kunye nee-missed calls kodwa ukhawulezile wayokuhoya ezika WhatsApp, wafika kukho nalo;

Bonisa: (WhatsApp) “Ndiyakuzonda shame! Ukundihambisa ndodwa ebusuku! Ndikhuthuziwe ke! Uza kundibona ke kusasa! Ndidumbile! Ndinayo nemikrwelo! Ithathiwe nalomali ubundinike yina! Kusinde nje iphone yam, kuba nayo bendiyifihle kusisi. Kucacile ukuba ubungandithandi Mpumezo. Qha ubufuna nje ukundilala wogqiba ungandihoyi. Kwaba ukwazi ukundiyeka ndihambe ndodwa, i mean you planned that to happen. Ubufuna ndife nhe? Ulate ke bhuti and andizokuyibhatala mna lomali yakho, ixuthiwe kaloku and andizuphangela mna ngomso. Caba ubufuna ndivelelwe yingxaki bhuti nhe? Yenzekile ke le ubuyinqwenela! Nokuba bendifile...!”

Wavele wabanda at that point in time uMpumezo. Suke wothuka! What if somethin bad did happen to her? What if she was raped or killed? Wazibuza ukuba ingaba usenayo na ichance noBonisa after what happenned? Iingcingane zakhe zaphazanyiswa nguThembela;

Thembela: “Ayikho ivaselina?”
Mpumezo: “Ha.a! Yilo clare yodwa endinayo”
Thembela: “Ndifuna ukuthambisa apha phakwathi kwamathanga, ndityabukile and ndiyamensa”
Mpumezo: “Uyamensa?”
Thembela: “Ewe! Liyandicaphukisa ke tana! Alipheli!”
Mpumezo: “Kutheni ungatsho ke ngoku ukuba useslarheni?”
Thembela: “Andiqondanga ukuba bekumele ndikuxelele gqirha! Ikhana indgaxaki?”
Mpumezo: “Ayikho! Kodwa asoze ndingazumi mna ngenxa yalonto”
Thembela: “Hay! Sukungcola!”
Mpumezo: “Ndiyakukhumbula mna Thembela!”
Thembela: “Nam kaloku! Qha leligazi eli mfondini!”
Mpumezo: “Andinaxesha lagazi mna”
Thembela: Alizuphela ke xa unditya ndi nje! And kaloku obu bubumdaka, buyaphuma!”
Mpumezo: “Andixesha lalonto mna”
Thembela: “Ha.a wena! Andikho nasemdleni ke xelele! Ndidiniwe ndifuna ukulala! Kaloku oko besisebenza ententeni mfondini. Umfundisi undisebenzisile one namhlanje! Phinde ndothuswe yile iphantse yenzeka! Inoba that's even why eligazi ligxaza kangaka”

Wayengamensi uThembela. Kodwa wayengafuni ize ivele kuMpumezo ukuba uke walala nenye indoda. Wazimisela ukuzuliswa de ahambe kusasa, nangona eyazi ukuba uMpumezo uyazazi iindawo achukunyiswa kuzo ze abe semdleni. Kanti wayezilungiselele; akuyazi ukuba uMpumezo was on his way to pick her-up, she was about to take a bath. Wakhawuleza wakhangela ipad kwi bag yakhe yasegxeni, waya nayo ekhitshini, wakhangela itomato source, wayithi quba kancinci apha kwi pad. Wayilungisa ke ngomnywe! Wabuyela egumbini lakhe lokulala, wogqiba walayita i-hairdrier yakhe, wayenza shushu ze washushubeza ngayo elagazi letumato sos, lahlala ncwam. Wawunokugqiba ukuba lilo. Ubaleka le kamfundisi into.

UMpumezo wayebukele ukumila kwalentombi ngoku ahleli kulabhedi. Wayepakishe imiqamelelo yakhe engqiyame kamndana. Wayenabile kodwa ebuchophe ngempundu apha ebhedini. Wayedlala ngomqwathi wakhe inga uthi khawude ugqibe ntombazana ndiyafa yindlala. Wayemana eluma lomnyheke ungezantsi, ancume kanye xa athobayo uThembela ukufaka itowel wamanzini eyicikica! Kwekh! Ngumbono omhle kuye lo! Ngelingeni yagqiba intombi; themba mqala waginya...!

Thembela: “Ikhona ikhondom? Andifun ukukugulisa mna! Iwes bubumdaka obu buphumayo! Uzogula Mpumezo!”
Mpumezo: “Andinazo iikhondoms mna! Yima ndithathe itowell enkulu ndiyondlale apha phezu kweshiti”

Wacingela ngaphakathi umfo omkhulu ngoku agunhulula lento ayifunayo. Sekucaca phofu ukuba ungxamele uya ebhedini.

“UThixo kodwa uyabonelela! Ndiphoswe zintaka ezimbini izolo oku, ndakhonza kakubi ndirhala, andakwazi ulala ngenxa kaBonisa. Ngoku ndizoyitya noba imdaka rhaaaaaaa”

Waphuma emandlalwe umfo sele izinto zidubule zikhomba indlela ukuba iya ngaphi. NoThembela wathi krwaqu wogqiba wacimela.

Sime apho...! Sakubonana kwixesha elizayo




Scene #2.2


Besishiyene nomzalwane uMpumezo esendleni eya kuloThembela. Kwaye kusezinzulwini zobusuku, emva kokumka kuka Bonisa. Ngoku usendleleni ebuyayo, eza kokwabo, kunye noThembela lo ebeyomlanda. Kamnandi ufike intombi imlinde phandle, baze bahamba.
Mpumezo: “Ngenditheni ke?”
Thembela: “Awundihoyi Mpumezo. Ukusuka apho ndiva izitori zokutshata kwakho noBonisa! Awusathethi nam nakuFacebook nakuWhatsApp. Qha xa ufuna impundu zam kuba ngona unanazelayo emva kwam”
Mpumezo: “Uyayazi nawe ixesh andinalo. Soloko ndixakekile enkonzweni. Umfundisi undisa ngapha nangapha and iyandidinisa nam lonto. Ingase nam ndizivulele elam ibandla”
Thembela: “Ayikho ke le uyithethayo! Uzokwazelaphi ukuphatha ibandla wena? Okanye ufuna ukuzitya kakuhle ezimali zabantu nhe?”
Baye besiya ngaseholweni yoluntu ingabo bodwa abasendleni ngelaxesha. Kwaye kungekho kwamoto evelayo macala omabini. Kanye xa bangasesangweni le-gate eholweni. Kwavele abantu abane bevela ngakulaKhontena ilungisa iiphone, kucaca phofu ukuba bavela ngaseBarcelona, ngakwaNomdimba.
Mpumezo: “Ha! Ha! Ha! Kanti sele ndivutshiwe mna ke tana! Akhonto ndingakwazi ukuyenza mna, undibokhomba nje, ndikwenzele”
Bonisa: “Naba abantu! Ndicela undifihlele lephone yam torho! Yhu iBlackberry ndisanda ukuyithenga? Ha.a!”
Wayithatha wayifaka epokothweni kaMpumezo. Wogqiba wambamba esinqeni, wabeka intloko yakhe egxeni. Ethubeni, uqaphele ukuba kukho into eqinileyo esinqeni sikaMpumezo, wayiphutha-phutha ukwenzela ayive ukuba yintoni.
Mpumezo: “Don't do that...!”
Thembela: “Yintoni ke le iqinileyo apha kuwe esinqeni?”
Mpumezo: “Shhhhh! Yimela yam le! Ingathi zibala ngathi ezintwana”
Thembela: (Eqinisa) “Hay'ndiyoyika ke mna! Masibaleke singene kule yadi! If abafumani nto bazosibulala okanye basonzakalise”
Mpumezo: “Ha.a masiye! Azisusenza nto”
Thembela: “Uzuke uqine enyaleni ndikuxelela! Yho! Beza kuthi sana! Iphone yam! Imkile namhlanje! Unagbi nenkani ke! Yhuuuwwwhhhiiiii”
Mpumezo: “Hay'maaarn sungxola jo! Ziyeke ezikaka zize! Sundiqinisa maaaan nawe”
Afika amajita sele ezikhuphile iimela zawo zimenyezela inga ziyimibane. Agqiba indawo yonke amajita inga umhalaba ngowawo. Maaaarn! Wangcangcazela uThembela inga angawuyeka umchamo, akubona ezo mela mfondini.
Umjita 1: “Ningasisokolisi ke! Rhafani! Imali! Phone! Khuphani! Okanye nizokufa! Khawulezani!”
Thembela: “Ainayo imali”
Mpumezo: “Hay'makwedini! Sekutheni ingathi niyaqhela nje! Huh?”
Thembela: “Suba neenkani Mpumezo! Bazokusenzakalisa ababhuti”
Umjita 2: “Kutheni ingathi uyarhonga nje rhot'man? Uyayazi le whey?”


Yakhupha inkebe-nkebe yebhozo lanto sele lilijiwuzisa ukulizisa ngqo kuMpumezo. Yema bhungxe lanto inguMpumezo kucaca nje ukuba ayoyiki tu. Ibhinqa lothuswa lelo bhoso lingaya ykuba likhulu, lajike emva koMpumezo, sele lincwina.
Umjita 3: “Hlaba lenja maaaan! Hey! Khuphani imali nephone zenu nina niyeke lekaka yokusilibazisa”
Umjita 4: “And sisemsebenzini thina! Asifun kulityaziswa nini! Khuphani! Hlaba ezikaka maaarn nawe jo!
Mpumezo: (Erhola umpu) “Nindiqhela ikaka nhe? Misunu yenu! (Watsho isithonga sasinye phantsi) Yizani apha! Misun'onyoko! Nibaqhela ikaka abantu rhu! (Waphinda esinye kwaphantsi)


Kwee saa ngonkabi sebesitsho isikhalo. Abanye bafohleka ukutyhoboza amacingo neeyadi. Yaba ngudulukubhode ukusithela kwabo ezikoneni oorheme, befathuza ukubaleka oku. Inga bathi “nyawo zam wake wandenzela ntoni nha” ukuyotshonela.


UThembela oko wayeguqe ngamadolo ebambelele eendlebeni, esitsho esikrakra isikhalo, inga ufelwe yintshontsho lakhe. Akaznge akholwe naxa abanjwa nguMpumezo ukuba nguye nha, wasitsho maaaarn de noMpumezo wambamba umlomo. Yaba ngubhije ke ukuya kwaMpumezo bebaleka.
Sime apho!


See you at 16:15


#DOUO

Scene #2.1


UBonisa wema phambi kwendoda , eyixelela ukuba ayihambi. Ayiyi ndawo! Yena uze kuyo apha endlini and yena ufuna ulala kwaye akuzulala yedwa, phofu engazulala nabantu ababini eqhele ukulala nomtu omnye. Watsla ezangubo zither saa phantsi, wakhupha ishiti, wavuthulula iingubo, walijula endodeni eloshiti, kucaca phofu ukuba uyonyanya kwa ukulibamba oku. Wayondlula ibhedi kakuhle, wogqiba wakhulula, wema bhrutsu. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ewe, wema nqunu. Wangena emandlalweni.
Bonisa: “Indoda yam mayizolala nam! Omnye asiphe igumbi ke!”
Wazitsala iingubo wagquma nje amabele la, warhola iphone yakhe. Wangena ku-WhatsApp;
Bonisa: (WhatsApp) “Ndiyakuzonda shame! Ukundihambisa ndodwa ebusuku! Ndikhuthuziwe ke! Uza kundibona ke kusasa! Ndidumbile! Ndinayo nemikrwelo! Ithathiwe nalomali ubundinike yina! Kusinde nje iphone yam, kuba nayo bendiyifihle kusisi. Kucacile ukuba ubungandithandi Mpumezo. Qha ubufuna nje ukundilala wogqiba ungandihoyi. Kwaba ukwazi ukundiyeka ndihambe ndodwa, i mean you planned that to happen. Ubufuna ndife nhe? Ulate ke bhuti and andizokuyibhatala mna lomali yakho, ixuthiwe kaloku and andizuphangela mna ngomso. Caba ubufuna ndivelelwe yingxaki bhuti nhe? Yenzekile ke le ubuyinqwenela! Nokuba bendifile...!”
Sityhilelo: “Ndicela silaleni sonke coz azikho ezinye iingubo Bonisa for alale ngazo uNolitha and akho ndawo yolala, akho kwaseti kulehoki. Uzohamba kusasa. Ndiyakucela Baby torho”
Bonisa: “Wethu! Ungalinge undingxolele ngoNyonyitha mna! Yizolala undibambe ngolwahlobo uqhele ule, unditye ngolwahlobo uqhele ulenza, andizuyimela le yoguqukela ebeleni ndibe ndiqhele ukungqubeka endodeni ke mna! Ihule maliphume ligoduke okanye liye kweyalo indoda. Yiza Sityhilelo”
Nolitha: “Hay! Ambolala nomntu wakho mfondini. Ndizohlala kulendawo de kuse, ndizozihambela”
Wangena ezingubeni uSityhilelo yabe imzele ngomva letsheri yakhe icofana nephone yakho ingamnakanga. Ngelingeni yaguquka;
Sityhilelo: “Ndicela silale nomye Bonie joh, kuyabanda kaloku! And ebeyothathwa ndimkokwabo joh! Ndak’cela love”
Bonisa: “Qale undiphe! Ubulele naye nge condom k’qala?”
Styhilelo: “Azikho nana, senze nje! Kodwa uclean naye love, akaguli and that makes us safe too, don’t worry”
Bonisa: “Iza ke! Khwela! Iza! Ima, umqamelelo! Heke! Iza ke”
Sityhilelo: “Hay’bo! Njalo nje? Omnye umnwana? Hay’bo jo!”
Bonisa: “FUTSEK MAAARN! Uyenza okanye? Hay’sundiqhela kakubi jo! YENZA”
Wakhwela ke nomnye wenza le ayithunyiweyo. Wangxola ke nomnye oku komntu onesigqezu. I mean, yayingekho ingxolisa and akazange wangxola ngaphambili xa benzanayo. Kodwa namhlanje kwakubhideke kwa umfana, sede warhola amerho phezu kwentombi. Engazazi nokuba makavuye kuba eyipha kamnandi lentombi, okanye sisigqezu sokuqhayisa nha eso nha. Suke wazikhaba uBonisa ezongubo. Kwavela amagqengeza eempundu zabo bobabini mfondini. Wayixhoma apha ke imilenze yakhe usisiza, ebambe impundwana ezintseke-ntseke zika Sityhilelo, ezazilwatshu-lwatshuza ke nazo. Zisihla zinyuka zixela amaze olwandle, okanye zixela umfinya wegeza xa kubanda. Kwekh! Loongxolo ke!
Usizana olunguNolitha nkosi yam, lwaluthe shwace pha ekoneni yehoki, ethe thoce esitulweni. Wayefake iiearphones zakhe inge umamele umculo. Umane eqethukisa intloko ke umamakho inga akanakanga, kodwa izithonga shame wayeziva and umntu ke unayo imithambo. Wayebonakala ngomane etshintsha indawo yokuhlala ukuba uva zona. Kaloku, kanti naglo lonke elixesha ahleli pha, uyishicilela yonke lento. Yemadoda! Uyayifoto ixesha eli lonke. Yhuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwhhhhhhiiiiiiiii!
Wenza sure ukuba uyabakhupha ubuso babo bobabini. Njembekrabalaza imilenze omnye lo, nanko evele wonke kwivideo kwaye iphume kakuhle naloomshicilelo. Yho! Kazi ucinge ntoni loNolitha? Uzakuyithini ke? Ayithini bethu? Kazi ayikokungcola nha oku akucingayo uNolitha ngoBonisa!
Sityhilelo: “Baby! Ndichithile ngoku! Ndiphelelwa ngamandla! Ndiyehla! Ay...!”
Bonisa: “Hay yikaka ke leyo ke! Andikoneli kemna! Caba elivrawutsha likugqibile! Awugqibanga ne 5 minutes le? Andikoneli mna bhuti! Iza! Yenza! Ukuba ayifuki, izovuka ngenkani! Tshona khona! Yenza bhuti!”
Wazama shem ukucosela umfana wabantu kodwa kungalungi. Kodwa esi sikhalo sengxolo kaBonisa sasidika shame, i mean, ungxolela ntoni? Usenzile kaloku i-statement kaloku and so what?
Ucinga ayithini iVideo uNolitha? Inguwe lowa waye kulameko ubunokwenzani?


Sime apho...!


#DOUO

Saturday 5 October 2013

Scene #2


Emva kokukumka kuka Bonisa.

UMpumezo washeka ejwaqeka ngumsindo. Wayecaphuka, enomsindokazi ongathethekiyo. Yenzeka njani ukuba ngemini enye, bemke sebelapha? Iqale yanguSisanda emini, ngoku ngulo unguBonisa. Lo ke umka ngoku emyeke sele elapha, bekumele ukuba uwuvalile lamnyango ze angakwazi ukuphuma uBonisa, ngelele mhlawumbi. Kutheni bethu? Ingaba konakele phi ngoku na nje? Suke yanga ukhona lomfazi umzele ngomva, watunusa. Ngoku uza kuthini? Mphini wuphi anokuwuxoza? Azame uSisanda? Azame uThembela? Athini? Ayeke alale?

Nkosi yam! Yangqunga ukugqiba indlu lenkewu! Icinga cebo limbi. Ngelingeni wacingela ngaphandle, kucaca ukuba akaziva urheme;

Mpumezo: (Ethetha yedwa) “Ndibe sisiyatha kwa ukuqale ndimnike la mali. Bekumele ndimxele phandle ukuba uza kuyifumana kusasa kanye xa ahambayo! Ngoku, ukuba ukhuthuziwe ze yathathwa nalomali? Ukuba ubulewe? Ukuba udlwengulwe? Hay'phofu ubaleke loMqwathi wam kaloku, izobe injalo...! Undibalele yazi lontwana? Ngokuqononondisa ngemali phambili, inge uyahlala, wemka! Eish! Ndonqena nokumfowunela ke ze iphone iviwe zizikoli, ithi kanti uyifihlile. Phofu, uzakundifowunela xa esendlini...! Mandithembe uhambe kakuhle kodwa. Ngoku ndizakuthini? Ndikhumbula kwa uThembela iqwela, qha ndimphoxe kakubana ke namhlanje. Wofika uqumbile! Khawume ke ndimjonge ku WhatsApp! Iyhoooo! She is online! Ndithini bethu?”

Mpumezo: (WhatsApp) “Nana”

Thembela: “Yintoni?”

Mpumezo: “Hay'bo”

Thembela: “YINTONI?”

Mpumezo: “Tjioo! Awukho mdleni ke tana”

Thembela” “Injalo”

Mpumezo: “Nditheni kaloku nana?”

Thembela: “Ucinga ndisisibhanxa sakho wena shame”

Mpumezo: “Hay'bo baby ndenzeni ngoku man? Iwes ba ndikukhumbuila kanjani jo!”

Thembela: “Usathe phithi nguBonisa kaloku”

Mpumezo: “Bendizomnika imali kaloku love, apha endlini! Hay'suba wrongo torho nana!”

Thembela: “Mna ndi wrongo? He! He! He! Sundihlekisa bhuti! Ucinga ndi dom wena nhe!”

Mpumezo: “Ndenzeni kaloku sthndwa sam? Khathethe kaloku baby!”

Thembela: “Eyona nto igcwele phandl'apha! Into yokuba wena, namhlanje ucele umtshato kuBonisa, eProminade Mall. Ubumkhuphile niyotya pha! Ndiyayazi kaloku bhuti naleyo! Ucinga ukleve wedwa nhe? Ifikile ke nakwezam iindlebe. Ubucinga ukundicelela nini? Ubucinga awuzondixelela ze umane ukhuthula legush yam? Andikho muncu bhuti!”

Mpumezo: “Hay'bo! Ayikho lento uyithethayo! Uyithathaphi into enjalo? Ndicele umtshato? KuBonisa? Yifrend yam ke uBonisa! Asizutshata! Ngubani lo ebekuxelela obo buxoki?”

Thembela: “Igama lomntu liduru kaloku bhuti. Yima ndibuze, akhange uye eProminade wena namhlanje? Akhange niye kwa-Pie City noBonisa? Namhlanje?

Mpumezo: “Ewe, besiyile kwa-Pie City and nam bendiyile eMall. Kodwa baby le yomtshato bubuxoki obudom shame”

Thembela: “Nam ndizibonele ngawam amehlo namhlanje! Ndiniqaphele kwapha ententeni ukuba kukhona okushaya amanzi! Ndlela le benimana nincumelana ngayo! Kucaca naphandle ukuba inkulu enidibanisayo nina. Andikho muncu Mpumezo! And I am abig girl, I can handle the break-up! Qhubeka! Tshata noBonisa!”

Mpumezo: “Nana! Bubuvuvu maaan obu bomtshato! Andicela mtshato mntwini mna! Andizutshata naBonisa mna! Ndithanda wena! Ndifuna wena wedwa! Ndiyakukhumbula!”

Thembela: “Ukuba ubundikhumbula, ubuzondihoya! Ukuba ubundithanda ubuzondikhathalela njengamanye amantombi ahoyiweyo ngawayo amaOW! Ubuzondihlonipha ungahambi nama cherie phambi kwam. Uzazondithatha xa ubundikhumbula! Nam ndiyafa kukukhumbula Mpumezo and indidikile nalento yomane ndizimela mna ngoku. Ndifuna ukutaka njengamanye ama cherie, ndivuke ndakuthanda, ngexesha lam! Iyandibhityisa ke yethu into, le yoba mna ndize apho ebusuku, phinde jike kwasebusuku. Hasuka!”

Mpumezo: “Ndiyakuthanda Thembela! Ndikukhathelele nkosazana! Ndikukhumbula kakhulu nam...! Ndicela ukuza ngoku ndizokuthatha sana! Ndize?”

Thembela: “Ungeza. Ukhawuleze kodwa! Zinyukela u12 ngoku”

Mpumezo: “15min sendilapho! Ndilinde!”

Khwasusu unkabi, wafaka iphone embaneni, wakhulula ibhatyi, wathath isilamba wanxiba sona. Wathi sele esiya ngasecangweni, wajika, waphakamisa umatrasi, waphutha-phutha, wamane empampatha. Caba akayifumani lento ayifunayo, wawuphakamisa wonke umatrasi, wawuxhasa ngentloko, wakhangela ngazo zombini izandla. Ngelingeni wawufumana umpu wakhe! Ewe, umpu wakhe! Wawujonga-jonga, wawosula-sula kakuhle, tshwa esinqeni unkabi sele gxanya ukuya emnyango.

Waathawuza, enkcunkca ukuya ngaseholweni yoluntu...!

Ithini na lento, lomzalwane ukwa nawo nompu?

Masimyeke apho okwangoku uMpumezo, inga izinto ziyalunga kuye. Ekugqibeleni, loThixo amkhonzayo usabonelela nakuye...!

#DOUO

Scene #1.20


Wajikela ke uBonisa kwicala elimsa kwiihoki ezingasemva. Wahamba inga uyachwechwa oku ukuze angavusi abanye abantu okanye inja yalapha egezayo. Kwakucaca ke ukuba lo mnyango aze kuwo uyawazi. Ungqale ngqo kanye kulo ungena barglar bars kanye. Lomkhukhu wawenziwe ngamazinki akudala. Ecaca ngokugqola oku ukuba noko kudala ekho. Yayiloluhlobo lwamazinki omeleleyo. Caba kwase kungasahlali kwa ipaint uhlobo ayegqole ngayo. Yayibukekelela ngasekhohlo ke lehoki, ibuqwanya ke. Icango nkosi yam, nalo sele licaca ukuba kudala kodwa ladibana neenkxwaleko, imimoya, iimvula, ukukhatywa, ukusikwa. Kwakungekho kwa letshi le yovula, kuzibonakelela ukuba eli icango livalwa ngamacingo okanye itsheyna. Wankqonkqoza ke usisiza.

Azange kubekho mpendulo ngaphakathi, kodwa icaca mhlophe ukuba abantu okanye umntu ukhona apha ngaphakathi. Ucango olu lwaluvalwe ngaphakathi ngee velvethi zezikhonkwane. Waqhubeka enkqonkqoza uBonisa kucaca nje ukuba uzosuke ashiywe yimbeko. Wamana ekhwaza igama likaSityhilelo, ukuba makavule. Emana esithi makavule ngoba yena uyagodola. Wakhupha iphone yakhe wazama ukufowunela lo aze kuye. Yakhala ke nale ifowunelwayo iphone ingaphathi apha kule hoki. Yamenza umsindo lento uBonisa!

Bonisa: “S'TYHILELO! VULA OLUCANGO NDINGEKALUKHABI LUNYE MNA!”

Azange kubekho mpendulo, kodwa wavakala ugungqu-gungqu ngaphakathi. Wake walinda usisiza ecinga ukuba kuzakuvulwa, nkqi!

Bonisa: “NDIZOSUKA NDIKHABE LEKAKA YECANGO UKUBA AWUVULI S'TYHILELO! VULA LOMNYANYO! SITYHILELO! VULA! SITYHILELO! OHHH INOBA UHLELI NENTOMBI MSUNWAKHO! IZAKUNYA KE UKUBA IKHONA! VULA NDIYIBONE!

Watsho sele ekhulula izihlangu zakhe ezichophileyo. Wazijula pha ecaleni komnyango, wakhulula iwotshi yakhe nezinye izinto kunye namacici wakhe, itsheyna kunye neebhengile zakhe. Wazibeka ecaleni kwezihlangu kunye nebhayibhile yakhe...!

Wazama ukutyhiliza ucango, kwaye kwacaca mhlophe ukuba sele elwazi apho lubotshwa khona. Kuba walubamba nje maaaarn, waluthi, waluthi, waluthi, suke lwavuma nalo ucango, lwazikhohlelela nalo ucango lwavuleka nkamalala. Yachola-chola izinto zayo intokazi enkulu sele ifutha ngumsindo. Yangena!

Ngoku yayisele isiva ukuba kukhona nelizwana elikhwinayo kwalapha, ilelentombi. Makube urheme engavuli nje ume nematha. Walayita umbane uBonisa ewazi nje ukuba ucofwa phi...!

Ntla ngentombi esele ichophe ngeemphundu inyuke ngodonga pha emiqamelelweni, izigqume amabele. Yayithwele ipeyntihose entloko egcwele oontshontshi, kwakungabonakali namabhanti ebhodi emagxeki kucaca ukuba ilele ze. Wayesele eme ecaleni kwebhedi uSityhilelo, eze kwaye kucaca ukuba kudala ezinika urheme, ngoba waye rhithilili yimikhwinya apha emathangeni kunye nasemiphakathweni. Wayewakhuphe onke amehlo kucaca nje mhlophe ukuba imothusile lento.

Bonisa: “KUTHENI MSUNU UNGANDIVULELI? AWUQHELANGA KUNDIVULELA XA NDINKQONKQOZAYO? KUTHENI?

Sityhilelo” “Yima kaloku baby! Kaloku be...”

Bonisa: “FUTSEK MAAAAARN! SUKUTHI NYHENYHI KUM! MSUNU! UYANDIJOLELA SITYHILELO? NGUBANI LE KAKAKAZI? NGUBANI LENJAKAZI SITYHILELO?”

Sityhilelo: “Sukungxola joh yim...”

Bonisa: “RHA! UNDIQHELA IKAKA SITYHILELO! UYANDIJOLELE UJIKE UTHI MANDINGANGXOLI? UNDIMISA PHANDLE KUBANDA UJIKA UTHI MANDINGANGXOLI? YIKAKA KE LEYO! MSUNU!

Sityhilelo: “Uzovusa aba....!”

Bonisa: “UMSUNU WABANTU! ANDINAXESHA LABO! NGUBANI LE KAKA WENA SITYHILELO? NDIYABUZA BHUTI (Utsho embetha ngempama) THETHA! NGUBANI LENJAKAZI ULELE NAYO?”

Sityhilelo: “Sukundibetha maaarn! Nokuba awumazanga igama lakhe! Cela sithethele phantsi kaloku, sukungxola (Ephepha enye impama eshushu wayokuwa phezu kwebhedi) Yima! Uzolila ke! Zosuke ndikubethe ke”

Bonisa: “UBETHE BA? RHA UNGANYA! UBETHE BA?”

Wakhwela phezu kwebhedi naye phezu kukaSityhilelo, zangena iimpama endode kwataka imifinya. Wawungafunga ukuba kulwa amadoda ndlela le kwakuduntsuzwana ngayo phezuk kwalobhedi. Yaphuma lentombi intswayiza ukuphutha-phutha ezayo iimpahla. Mayibe inxiba lomzuzu kungekeziwa kuyo, kwthi kanti iyibhudile.

Caba uBonisa ucatshukiswe kukubona iintsula zalentombi. Kwacaca mhlophe phandle ukuba idliwe yindoda. Waqonda ukuba makonde ngayo, lo uzakubuya ngaye. Wayibamba ngomqala enga uyayikrwitsha...!

Bonisa: “UYAPHI WENA HULE NDINI? YIZAPHA MSUNU WAKHO! UZAKUNYA MNQUNDU”

Intombi: (Iphutha-phutha uBonisa ngamazipho, kwaye imphakula) “NDIYEKE! NDIKWENZE NTONI MNA?”

Bonisa: “USABUZA KHOZO LAKHO! UFUNA NTONI ENDODENI YAM? UFUNA NTONI KUSITYHILELO? UNGOWAPHI? SUKUNDIKRWEMPA!

Intombi: (Ingaziyekelanga nayo ekulweni) “SUTHI YEYAKHO! INDODA LE YEYETHU! YONA LONDODA YAKHO IBIFUNA NTONI KUM? AKHENGE NDITHI RHUQA IKELVINATOR KALOKU MNA! KHUPHA ISIGAQA SE-ICE SE-ICE ESI UNASO ZE INGEMKI INDODA!”

Bonisa: “ULIHULE GQITHI! LE INDODA YEYAM...!”

Waqhubeka loodulukubhedu womlo. Kwasele kukho namagazana acwekizayo. Intombi le sele imongoza, kodwa ingayekanga ukulwa. UBonisa yena enenxetyana ecaleni komlomo, nalo sele livuzisa igazi. USityhilelo wazama ukubohlula kodwa zazimthi nje thwii ayokuwa ebhedinin ezontombi, ziphinde zibambane inga kukudibaba kwentsimbi nomazibuthe. Kwakungena mpama, nqindi, zipho, mkhatyo, dolo, ngqiniba mfondini. Kwakunzima.

De ngelingeni, wakwazi ukuyifaka ngaphantsi lentombi uBonisa, wayicinezela wayicishilela ngedolo, wazenzela. Yakhala kabuhlungu sele icela amaxolo. Yambongoza ukuba ayivelele ngetarhu, ayiyeke. Wayiyeka ke uBonisa! Wonda ngendoda!

Bonisa: (Eyibambe ngesixhanti wayishwabanisa) “NDITHE NGUBANI LO, NDIYABUZA PHENDULA MNQUNDWAKHO?”

Sityhilelo: (Ekrwitshekile umfo) “NguNolitha!n Uhlala kwezafleth zingangaseBhekela ko 12”

Bonisa: “UFUNA NTONI APHA? UYINTONI KUWE?”

Sityhilelo: “Ndijola naye! Sekulithuba kodwa sithandana! Ndiyakuthanda kodwa wena Bonisa! Mna ndithanda wena! Cela sithethe kaloku Babywam! Masithethe! Oyini love! Cela sithethe torho!”

Bonisa: “SITHETHE NTONI? RHA UYANYA! MAKAGODUKE! MKHUPHE AHAMBE! AND AWUZUYA NDAWO KE WENA! AWUZUMKHAPHA! (Ebhekisa kuNolitha) HAMBA APHA WENA! ZEKE NDIPHINDE NDIKUBONE NJE!”

Nolitha: “Kusebusuku! Ndicela ukuhamaba kusasa! Ndoyika izikoli! Please torho! Andizuphinda ndize apha and ndizokohlukana nendoda yakho!”

Hay'ke! Masime kanye kuloondawo kanye. Izibindi zisephezulu kukulwa kwaba. Sizakuva ukuba kwenzeke ntoni ke kwixesha elizayo! Ungaba uphele egoduka uNolitha?

#DOUO

Friday 4 October 2013

Scene #1.19


Waye esoyika kakhulu uBonisa, kodwa yayingekho into ethi makajike, aphinde kwihoki kaMpumezo. Kwasele kukude ngemva, kukude kakhulu. Naphambili yayisele ingumgama obalekayo, kwakufuneka ayityhutyha-tyhutyhe iThsephe-thsephe! Phofu idume kakubi ke lendawo, izikoli ziyagqugqisa. Kwakufuneka ewele isiporo, ibe ke baninzi abacholwe ecaleni kwesisiporo sikaloliwe, sele bebanda. Wayethembe ntoni? UThixo? Wayephi ke loThixo kwisininzi esele sadunduluza kweso siporo? Uthembe ntoni bethu?



Wazibona sele ethe thu phezu kwesiporo, engucwethana oceke-ceke ecwayiza ukuhla kwelothambeka. Wake wema imizuzwana, wabheka-bheka, wake wajonga ngasemva. Waziva sele ethatha yedwa ukuba, ingaba bethu udlule njani kweziflet zingcole kangaka? Uphume njani bethu eBarcelona? makube ziphi izikoli elaxesha? Waphinda wayithwisha indlela sele enkcunkca...! Ungalibali ke usisiza uchophisile, kwabanzima ukuwela kakuhle ngokukhawuleza kulomatye esiporo, waxhwathuza ukuhamba oku, selethe thwici amadolo ukuwagoba oku.



Bonisa: (Ethetha yedwa) "Yhu! Adnisayiki ke lonto! Mandikhawuleze, noko sele ndizakufika ekhaya! Ukuba nje ndingaphinyela kweziflethi zalapha eIsland kuba ngcono! Ngekubhetele ukuba bukunohamba-hamba abantu. Ndlela le ndoyika ngayo"



Wayesele esemva kweziflethi zase Island ukuthi thuu kwabantu abahlanu. Babe hamba ngokukhawuleza kwaye kucaca nje ukuba kukho apho babhalele khona. Yayingabafanyana noko abaselula. Wabanda ngoko ke uBonisa sele kusithi rhiphu umbilini, kwabanda amazanzi esisu kwabuhlungu isifuba. Waqondana nabo kwaye ukujika kungasekho. Zizikoli ke ezi! Kwafika lomyalezo kuye ngokukhawuleza. Wabanesasifuthu-futhu singathethekiyo, wabila. Ukujika kwakhe abaleke akunakumenzela nto ngoba ngoku zazisele zikufuphi ezi aphambi kwazo. Zasisele zimqaphele.



Zeza kuye ngexesha elinye. Wamane uchiphiza umchamo inga angawuyeka. Wasuka womelwa ngumlomo. Uvalo lubethela ukuphuma ngomqala, wama nematha zifikile. Wacinga ngeBlackberry phone yakhe, wacinga ngeR250, iwatch, amacici, kunye neerings zakhe. Waqonda mhlophe ke ukuba hay'zimkile namhlanje! Zafika!



Umfana 1: (Esondela esima phambi kwakhe) “Uyaphi ebusuku sisi?”
Bonisa: (Eme bhunxe engcangcazela kukoyi) “Ndiyagoduka bhuti”
Umfana 1: “Uvelaphi elixesha?”
Bonisa: “Ndivela enkonzweni tata! Yho! Bhuti! Uxolo”
Umfana 2: (Emqwalasela) “Yho! Yeyiphi le kerk iphuma ngelixesha sisi?”
Bonisa: “Apostolic Faith Mission International...!”
Mfana 1: “Sukoyika sisi, asizokwenza nto! Yiza sikuweze iflethi ezi”
Mfana 2: “Unyanisile nceku. Akulungangwa ke kwezi flethi, masimthi nje tyishi”
Bonisa: (Engathembanga kwanto) “Hay'enkosi, sele ndizokufuka ekhaya”
Mfana 3: “Sukoyisa sisi, nathi besiye kwenye iWhole-night prayer ye-Movement yolutsha kwalapha, ngoku iphume early, asingethandi sikuyeke uhambe wedwa elixesha. Xa unokudibana nezintwana apha? Uzakuthi whaaaaaaa bani? Yiza sisi!



Kweee ham ke kusisiza, zamfaka phakathi ke ezonceku ukumkhapha oku. Kwangoko waluva uthando lobuzalwane, weva nje ukuba uphakathi kwabantwana bakaThixo. Kwacaca nje ukuba orheme bayalazi eli bandla kwaye bazi umzalwane uMpumezo kulo. Umzalwane ohamba nabo kwezi zinto zolutsha olukholwayo. Wakhululeka usisi lo, zake zacima iingcingane ngoMpumezo ophantse ukumbulalisa.



Umfana 4: “Nisadlalelwa nguSiseko pha ikeyboard?”
Bonisa: “Ewe nceku! Udlala kunye noLwando!”
Mfana 2: “Uyayidlala ke inyama lamjita! Wasoloko wafuna ukudlala usthole qho xa ebambe ikeys”
Mfana 5: “Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Uyadlala kodwa nje umeck...!”
Mfana 3: “Hasuka! Udlala itswele maaaaarn!”
Mfana 4: “Unomona kanene! Ubuxakwe yi-Transposer ngoku ke wena!”
Mfana 3: “Umbonile nje lamntana ebehlabela pha ukuba uvele wane loops, wamane etshintsha-tshintsha. Ngenditheni ke?
Bonisa: (Ekhululekile) “Haaaaa! Hayini aba! Ninomona kodwa shame! Uyadlala uSiseko qha ke! And uyanogqitha ke! Umona phantsi! Naku ke ekhaya! Enkosini bethunana, uThixo anisikelele”
Mfana 1: “Kulungile sisi! Ungaphinde uhambe wedwa ebusuku wethu maaaarn”
Bonisa: (Evala igate) “Andiphinde tu! Enkosi”



Bohlukana!



Mfana 2: “Hay'bo? Akukho kulo Sityhilelo nha apha? Bendingayazi ukuba kukho umntana omhle kangaka pha!”
Mfana 5: “Hay'bo? USityhilelo une sister? Asiyomedi yakhe le?”
Mfana 4: “Ndiyakhumbula maaaan! Akukho ntombazana kulo Sityhilelo! Lo makube simkhaphe etaka! Haaaaaaaa!”
Mfana 2: “Eish, bendizishaya ngaye ke mna! Dzerrrrrrr”
Mfana 3: “And intle le kanjani! Tjiooooo! Uligwala mfethu! Umyekile maaaaarn!”



Masibayeke ke abafana be Movement besatyholana...! Ingaba kwenzeke ntoni ke kuBonisa? Uyokwenzani kulo Sityhilelo? Akagodukanga nha kanti? Ndisuke ndaxakwa ke ngoku....! Ucinga kwenzeka ntoni wena mlesi?



Sibonane kwithuba elizayo ke bonorotso bethu...!



#DOUO

TESTIMONY TIME - FAN (INBOX)

Ws 1 of youth leaders & he was the worship team band leader, I wasn't into dating coz my ministry too 1st priority, weza wathi uyandthanda & he wants us 2 grow old togather & I believed him as all my other church friends, I had a good job and earning 4X his salary so I told myself ba ndizamqhuqha u fiance wam sitshate noko umgangatho nakuye uphezulu & I prayed as I do 4 any blessing bs uThixo angenelele, 3 months later his true colors showed, he had inumbers zawo onke amantombi asenkonzweni & flirting wth them ku whatsapp & sleeping wth some of them. Yes I ws hurt bcz wandiphoxa and I felt embarassed evn noya enkonzweni coz lamantombi akhe aqala nondigezela bt through God's grace I survived. He is still the band leader & still a player as always, so le diary touches 2 izinto tht actually happens.

#DOUO

Scene #1.18

Ekufikeni kwabo kulo Mpumezo uBonisa kunye noMpumezo kwakusele kunge ngecala emva kwentsimbi yeshumi. Wema phandle uBonisa akangena ehokini kaMpumezo. Wangena yena uMpumezo, wakhanyisa ugesi, wavala iikhethins wakugqiba weza emnyango.

Mpumezo: “Baby, umeleni phandle? Ngena kaloku”

Bonisa: “Ubungathathi imali nha?”

Mpumezo: “Lonto ithetha ukuba yima phandle ke ngoku?

Bonisa: “Iwes mna ndiyagodola ke sana and ndifuna ukugoduka”

Mpumezo: “Khangene torho”

Bonisa: “Masambe torho”

Mpumezo: “Ndizokukhapha kaloku nana”

Bonisa: (Engena) “Kanti uhlala ehokini Brother”

Mpumezo: “Ucinga ndihlala entweni wena? Ehokweni?”

Bonisa: “Hayi! Bendicinga une-RDP house okanye une flat
kaloku”

Mpumezo: “Ngelishwa ke ndihlala kwi back shark ekhaya, nomama nabantwana basekhaya...!”

Bonisa: “Akhonto imbi kaloku apho, suba sensitive kaloku. So sapha kaloku lemali, ngu 11 ngoku nje Mpumezo. Ithini kanti into yakho?”

Mpumezo: “ Ndicela uhambe kusasa. Ndiyakucela love”

Bonisa: “Ayahlambuluka ke le uyicelayo! Ndicela undinike torho le mali. Please!”

Mpumezo: “Ndizokunika kusasa”

Bonisa: “Hay'bhuti ndiyaphangela mna kusasa so kumele ndilale ekhaya! Ukuba bendiyiqondile ukuba uza kwenza lento, ngendingezanga mna apha!”

UMpumezo waya ewodrophini warhola isikhaftina esizele yimali ezinkozo kunye namaphepha. Wabala imali engange R250 engamaphepha aziiR10 kunye neeR20. Wogqiba wayibeka ohezu komandlalo, ze wayibuyisela enye eninzi kwase ndaweni yayo. Wathatha le isemandlalweni, wayibalisisa kwakhona, ze wayinika lo uyifunayo kodwa omnye wayibamba ngapha nomnye wayibamba ngapha, bajongana...!

Bonisa: “Yiyeke kaloku! Sapha!”

Mpumezo: “Umhle jo”

Bonisa: “Enkosi! Sapha ke!”

Mpumezo: “ I meant what I said ke joh”

Bonisa: “What did you say?”

Mpumezo: “That; I love you! I mean it”

Bonisa: “Enkosi! Khasapha le mali maaarn mpumezo! Kusebusuku and kukude eIsland mfondini”

Mpumezo: “Awuhambi kaloku! Ndikunikile nje imali yiyole (Watsho eyiyeka) Ndiyakucela jo hay'bo!”

Bonisa: “Ndicela undive torho! Ndithe hay namhlanje, mabe ngenye imini. Cela undikhaphe ke brother!”

Mpumezo: “Ndicela ukukuphuza ke babes, ndacela”

Bonisa: “Sivela enkonzweni Brothers! And wena ufunana neekiss! Ithini na kanti into yakho?”

Mpumezo: “Ubungathi sizothetha kanti namhlanje?”

Bonisa: “Ewe! Benditshilo. Masithethe sihamba kaloku!”

Mpumezo: “Ndikunikile nje imali! So, masihlale sobabini! Ndizokukhapha net sigqiba uthetha. Please jo!”

Bonisa: “Ewe! Undinikile imali! So, lonto ayithethi ukuba mandilale nawe kaloku! Lonto ayithethi ukuba mandikuncamise! Lonto ayithethi ukuba sele ndikuvumile ukuba ube yindoda yam! Ndicela undikhaphe bhuti okanye ndizozihambela mna! Ukuba ndikhuthuziwe kule Barcelona okanye esporweni, uyazi ukuba kungenxa yakho!

Watsho sele ephuma ngomnyango ke uBonisa kucaca nje ukuba utyhile emfeneni kukucaphuka. Wayesele enayo nendawana emcaphukisayo, kucaca nje ukuba uxolele neyiphi nha into enokwehla kodwa hay ukulala kwaMpumezo. Waphuma nge geyt enganakanga ukuba uyalandela uMpumezo okanye kusini nha. Wathatha lamali, waifaka phakathi kwebhayibhile, wayifaka ibhayibhile yakhe phantsi kwekhwapha. Waba bunkcunkca ukuya ngaseThswephe-thswephe. Uvalo lwaye lubethela ukuma, esuke nje wanesifuthu-futhu esisuke samfikela ngamandla. Wasuke waliphaku-phakwana Nkosi yam elothuswa liphepha eliphetshethwa ngumoya etheni. Kwaye kuthe nkcwee kucaca phofu ukuba kwa izikoli zilele namhlanje. Kwakunqabe kwa iimoto endleleni, eyedwa jwi.

Masiyiyeke apho! Ingaba uBonisa ukwazile nha ukusiwela isiporo ukuya kokwabo eIsland? Ingaba wafika kokwabo? Kwavela ntoni endleleni

Siyabuya ngo14H30

#DOUO

TESTIMONY TIME - FAN (INBOX)

Yhuuu le yehlela uThembeka yehlela mna ngo 2010 umzalwane ozenza ngcwele kanti uthandana nonintsi lwethu apha enkonzweni thini singazi ngelishwa ndamitha wathi mandisikhuphe kuzakuthwani enkonzweni coz soy 2 siphambili enkonzwni but ke zange ndaskhupha ndizkhulisela umntanam emveni kwam wamithisa omnye and ndandimane ndisiva ba bayathandana ephika bt xa kunamhlanje uhlalisana naye bayeka nokhonza. Ndivele ndachukumiseka

# DOUO (Scene will follow shortly)

Scene#1.17

After the service everybody was their way home. Amaphela taxis were ready outside the tent to take anyone who wants to go home. Ushers were busy packing chairs and folding table-cloths and other sheets. The keyboard players were unplugging the instruments and packing speakers nicely, all the cables were folded and packed neatly. Other saints were busy chatting and giggling outside the tent, hugging each other, others praying in groups and others were just standing. The pastors was greeting everybody and accepting everybody's hands and blesses everyone who greeted him. Thembela was standing Lindelwa and another member of the worshiping team.

Lindelwa: “Alivakalanga nje sana ivumba longavasi”

Thembela: “Akhange ndivase imini yonke kaloku Lindelwa”

Lindelwa: “Ndivuka ndivase ke mna! And bendingazukuyimela ke le”

Thembela: “Lonto ndityabukile apha angaphantsi! Kurhawuzelela kabuhlungu”

Lindelwa: “Hay'bo! Akhange utshintshe kwa peynti na ekuseni?”

Thembela: “Hay bendiyitshintshile! Kaloku kunini ndichama? And uyatyabula kaloku nomchamo!”

Lindelwa: “Ha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa!”

Thembela: “Suhleka Lindelwa! Andifuna ndigoduke kaloku! Inoba ndinukisele abantu ke sana”

Lindelwa: “Nyhani shame mntase, akhanke kuvakale nto! Nawe kaloku waziwa ngokuba late!”

Thembela: “Bendingazuba late ke tana! Qha andimazi umamfundisi undizonda ntoni! Akandifuni maaaarn and uyandinyanzela ke shame!”

Lindelwa: “Sumhoya ke tana. Unje kuthi sonke!”

By this time Mpumezo and Bonisa were standing on a tent's door-way and chatting. She was all in smiles as if she received good news. Shea has her arms folded nicely on her chest, with her bible pressed on her cleavage. They were talking softly and no-one could even tell what they were talking about, they seemed so close...!

Mpumezo: “So, uthini?”

Bonisa: “Ngantoni kaloku?”

Mpumezo: “Ngondikhapha siye phe endlini”

Bonisa: “Ha.ana! Ndiyaphangela kusasa”

Mpumezo: “Ndiyakucela torho”

Bonisa: “Nam kaloku ndiyakucela njena! Not namhlanje!”

Mpumezo: “Ndizokukhapha kaloku nam”

Bonisa: “Ha.a kusebusuku and kumele ndilungiselele ukuphangela”

Mpumezo: “Hasuka! Ulungisa ntoni?”

Bonisa: “Kaloku ndingena ekuseni ngomso”

Mpumezo: “Ndizokukhapha maaarn kwanamhlanje”

Bonisa: “Hay khayeke torho! Ndicela undinike lamali torho”

Mpumezo: “Isendlini kaloku! “

Bonisa: “Hay'bo! Bendithe yiza nayo nje!”

Mpumezo: Bendisonqena ukuphatha imali kaloku”

Bonisa: “Ndizoyifumana kanjani kengoku?”

Mpumezo: “Masambe siye endlini”

Maybe she agreed to the idea of going to Mpumezo's house, because they went to take iphela both of them. They were as if nothing is between them, you could tell that these, are just friends or people who just attends church and there is nothing more. Mpumezo is a professional when it comes in hiding something, he can even hide you too my reader, believe me!

Thembela saw them. She was still will Lindelwa at the same spot. She quickly ran after them ask to speak with the man of God for a second and he waited, while Bonisa gave then a space.

Thembela: “Hay'bo! No calls? WhatsApp, INBOX nothing! What's going on?”

Mpumezo: “It's late babe! Let's talk on whatsApp tonight hey, Bonisa is borrowing money for transport tomorrow and I promised to borrowed her”

Thembela: “OHK! Can I come-by tonight? I really miss you babe”

Mpumezo: “I will whatsApp you, hey!”

Thembela: “Ok! I will wait for you”

He ran after Bonisa and they waited for iphela...! While they were waiting; Mpumezo was not comfortable at all, he couldn't wait for iphela to appear and take them away. Most of the amaphela sped off, they were full, they were finished for the day and those who stopped were not going their direction. He was stopping them all impatiently and finally, they got one.

Sizeka went to Thembela and she said;

Sizeka: “Didn't I tell you? Didn't I tell you? Didn't I tell you? Haaaaaaaa!”

Thembela: “Yeah! You did! But I asked him and he said she had borrowed cash from him and now he is going to give her”

Sizeka: “And you did believed that?”

Thembela: “Why would I not?”

Sizeka: “Is it me or you jealous of Bonisa?”

Thembela: “Why do you say that?”

#DOUO

Scene#1.16

KuloSisanda!

Sisanda: “Ndimrhalisele ndaqonda ha.a le ayindazi kakuhle”
Akhona: “Uncedile kodwa my F besendinxaniwe kanjani”
Sisanda: “Yho mforin! Phantse ndayipha lakaka”
Akhona: “Hay'bo! Ubusowuqhizile nha?”
Sisanda: “Ha.a! Khame ndiyicime nale phone! Izofowuna kaloku xa ndingeziyo”
Akhona: “Uthi wenze njani kaloku?”
Sisanda: “Ndidibene naye kaloku caba uya eProminade ekseni mpitshi yam! Ndabe ndivela kwi BF yam. Yandgqula ichap, ndath mayiqale indithengele i-stoney ndizobon akuba iCrus nha! Yhooooo! Wandinkalela umfo zi airtime, chocolate ne drink mfondin! Ndamgibisela nge Hug ne baby kiss ndambona uthathekile! Wandithi 4tigers kaloku! Haaaaaaaaa! Ndayokhapha wokhela iteksi!
Akhona: “Iyhoooooooooooo! Tjiooooo! That's why enkala so umek mos!”
Sisanda: “So wandibiza ngok esithi mandomhlalisa, and ndathi andizi if azikho ezi whey! Kwathwa mandize! Ndaqonda mandimgqabulele ushoti kalok! Ndamvezela icleavage strongo kunakqala! Haaaaaaa! Ulikhuphe ilwimi ndisangena!”
Akhona: “Uthini nha chomp!”
Sisanda: “Ndithe ndichopha nje ebhedini ndabe ndi crus kaloku ndifuna iinto zam! Qha ndabona ba ndingayphuzanga le ayizundidalela tu! Babe! Ndakhwela phezu kwayo! Ndasijija mchana isinqeeeeeeeee! Tjioooooooo! Ibisele isweleka! Ndithe ndisiva, yhuuuuuuuuu! Iqhuma!!!!!! Yhuuuuu ha.a ndasuka sana!”
Akhona: (Ethe ntaa iindlebe) “Yhuuuuuuu! Chomie! Ukho umQwathi nha sana? And ubuzophuma uhluthi zizperms zomzalwane kalok! Xa engajoli inoba zingaphi iilitre? Haaaaaaaaaa! Yhuuuuuuu! Andahleka!”

Ententeni!

Thembela: “Ndicela sonke bazalwane silunge, cela ufase ibhanti lakho! Kuzotshisa manje! Hay'Haleluuuuuuuuuya! Are you ready? Eheeeeee! Sathana unamnga! Hayiiiiii! Bazalwane! Nisekhona! Are you ready! Sizodumis'uNkulu-nkulu manje! Be ready! Be ready! Be ready! Haleluuuuuuuuuuuuya! Ndicela bhuti undinyesele le mic, andiziva kakuhle! One two! One two! That's better! Thank You very much! Ndicela bazalwane sigcwalise ezi izitulo ezingaphambili. Singahlali emva bangcwele! Masihlaleni apha ngaphambili! Khawulezani bangcwele! OhHHHhHH Yes Jesus! Thank You Jehova! Sizotsho umhlabelelo ozukile bangcwele, sizukise uThixo! Simnikeze udumo! Simnikeze imbeko! OH Yes! Akakabikho onje ngaye! (Wathetha ngezilwimi) Siyabonga Nkosi! Uphakeme Thixo wethu! Ahhhhhhhh Yes! Bazalwane, ndicela nje siphakamise izandla zethu kuThixo! Vala amehlo! Umnikeze imbeko! Master Jesus! Phamisa izandla uvale amelho akho! Thank You Lord! AAaaaHhhh Yes Lord! (Wahlabela) 'OWUQALILE UMSEBENZI, UZOWUFEZA, EMPILWENI YAMI, NOM'USATHANE EHLASELA, NGIYAMETHEMB'OWASEKHAL'VARI'

Yatsho kamnandi losuprano kaThembela, yagcwalisa izipika, yatsho ntii ezindlebeni isika kamnandana ke. Ngoku, wayesele enxibe isikeyti esimnyama esinepliti enye apha ngemva, efake ezizihlangu zabo ke zimnyama, zikwatsolo apha ngaphambili, zichophileyo, andazi nokuba zizikeleton nha okanye iibiltong nha. Kodwa zibambe bupensile le yobhala apha ezithendeni. Unepeyntihose eshaynayo ke usisi, ufake ihempe emhlophe ke, nalo ke ibhanti elimnyama limthe khontshi apha esinqeni, unento ke apha entloko elilaphu ebambe iinwele yaze lento yanento ebuflawana apha ngaphambili ibuSunflower kanje maaaan, bakuyazi bona osisi.

Ungalibali ke akavasanga usisi lo. Oko ebevuke ekuseni akahlamba, waphinda wangcoliswa nangumfundisi ngalanto. Uphathelwe nje impahla yotshintsha ukze angabi sahamba, kaloku uyaziwa ngothatha ixesha lakhe. Phofu naye uyaziqonda imeko akuyo, ngoba yena uhlabelela kude kunezinye intombi, ungqisha pha kude yena. Kamnandi yena akasebenzisi Mic ene ntambo, eyakhe yi Cordless Mic.

Babe bekhona nooBonisa kunye nabahlobo bakhe, uSiseko nalantwana adlala kunye nayo, OoMpumezo kunye noSiyabulela, umdundisi etsho ngesuti ende emhlophe ehamba nowakwakhe, sabe ke sisininzi nesigqeba esikhoyo sabefundisi belizwi, kuzele nakulentente.

Thembela: “Make sitheni izandla zethu sonke bangcwele (eweyvisha isandla) sonke nje bathandwa bakaThixo! Kumnandi ukusindiswa bangcwele! Haleluuuuuuuuyaaaaa! Isindiswe intombi phakathi kwabafana! Oh thank you Jesus! Isindiswe intombi ingajoli! Bangaphi abangajoliyo apha ententeni? (Zenyuka ke nazo izandla zabo bathi abajoli) Kufuneka izigcine intombi! Ithi mna ndizigcinele umyeni! Ongu Jesu! Oh yes lord! Uzigcinile nha? Uzigcinile nha? Ha! Ha! Ha! Iyasindiswa intombi ilala kokwayo! Isindiswe intombi ingabi na boyfriend! Zigcine! Zigcine! Zigcine! Zigcinele uJesu! Haleluuuuuuuuuuuuuuya!!!!!! (Watsho wahlabela) 'WONGIGCINA NGCI! WONGIGCINA NGCI! BHEKA UBUBELE BAKHE! WONGIGCINA NGCI!”

Yayisele ishushu ke ngoku imvuseleyo, nazo ke ez zandla phezulu! Kwek, suke lakufutshane ke nelizulu, uThembela usisa khona! Akasalili uSammy madoda, suke wandyibhi-ndyibhi zinyembezi Nkosi yam...! Caba lo ngumhlabelelo wakhe shame!

Thembela: “Cela bonke nje abazalwane abanobungqina beze apha bonke ngaphambili, bazotsho kabini kathathu ukuthu uJesu ubenzele ntoni, bababaze amandla kaJesu! Khawulezani nje bangcwela asinalo ixesha! (Wacula) UGCOB'IKHANDA LAMI! NGAMAFUTHA KAMOYA IINDEBE YAMI ICHICHIM'IZIBUSISO”

Nanko noSammy phathi kwabantu abeza nobungqina! Asizangobhala nathina apha? Kwek Thembela!!!

#DOUO

Scene#1.15

Yatsho imshiya apho lontokazi le yaseMpumezo! Kwek madoda...! Yemkisela intaka!

Kazi uyabuya nha uSisanda...! Abuye?

Yayolinda ngomonde le ngwenya. Lisekhona ithemba kuyo, elokuba uSisanda uyabuya. Kwaye uyithembisile uSisanda ukuba uza kubuya nakanjani. Wamana eguqu-guquka ebhedini unkabi. Athi elele ngesisu, atshintshe alale ngomqolo, axwese ebhedini, ajike alale emazantsi, hay'suka ayide ifike letyiphu! Awachithe amanzi? Ide ayaphola iqwela! Ancume yedwa unkabi akucinga ngemizuzu egqithileyo, ephuzana noSisanda. Uthi thaa ke umfanekiso ngqondweni, ambone! Loo mabele mfondini, ezompundu madoda, esosinqe sijiko-jiko. Ahlasimle inga uzakuthimla umfo, yimihlali. Phofu akonakalanga nto, intombi iyabuya!

Mayezibuza iqwela umfo ukuba, kutheni yena? Kutheni kakade evunywa yintombi entle kangaka? Imbone ntoni phofu lentombi? Makube ke umfo naye uphakathi kwamanene apha eLower Crossroads. Esacinga njalo, kwangena umyalezo;

Bonisa: “Sele ndifikile ekhaya ngoku, ndilungiselela ukuya ententeni ngoku. Ndicela undiboleke torho imali yophangela ngomso, ukuba unayo, undiphathele! Kunye neR6 yephela xa ndibuyayo torho”
Mpumezo: “Nam ndiyalungisa ngoku”
Bonisa: “Ok! So uzondinika lento ndiyicelayo kuwe?”
Mpumezo: “Andinamali mna! Kodwa ikhona imali endiyigcinisiweyo, yileya yomnikelo. Ndizokunika kuyo and then wena undibuyisele ke xa upeyile...!”
Bonisa: “OH! Enkosi boet! Ndiyabulela! Ungabi late ke namhlanje! Sizothetha ke uphuma kwemvuselelo”
Mpumezo: “Kulungile”

UMpumezo waye wazama ukutsalela umnxeba uSisanda, suke yaya straight kwiVoicemail;

“Hi! This is Sisanda, I am so so so sorry that I am unavailable to take your call right now. Please leave the messege after the tone and I will get back...!”

Mpumezo: (Ecima iphone yakhe) “MXM! Iyandibhanxa ke le whey! Icime iphone ngoku! Ngese yatsho kaloku ukuba ayisalifumani ithuba, ze nam ndingalindi yona! MXM! Ngese ndicele uBonisa adlule ngapha! Ndimthembise ngemali le ayifunayo! Andinako ukukhonza ndikulemeko ndikuyo! Undirhalisele ke loSisanda ndini. Ngoku inga ndingachitha nje, ukwenzela ndibe grend. Ndithini bethu?”

Uye waphakama ebhedini, wakhupha izinto azakuzinxiba ententeni namhlanje. Kaloku lalise lisondele ixesha, naye wayeseleqonda ngoku ukuba aba baququzela ententeni ngoku, sebemanxada-nxada belungisa izinto. Sele nababethi bezinto ezikhayalo belungisa iintambo zabo. Naba sisana ke baculayo sele nabo bezilungiselela. Naye makalungise unkabi, ancame uSisanda ahambe ayokhonza bhetele. Likhona phofu ithemba lokuba angabuya noBonisa. Ikhona nje into emxelelayo. Phofu ke amaXhosa athi, ithemba alibulali, nto nje liyadanisa. Ethemba kodwa umfo omkhulu ukuba akanakudana tu.

Walungisa...!

Sibuya nentente xa sibuyayo...!

#DOUO

Scene#1.14

Ha! Ha! Ha! Hay'ke! Umndilili wabahlobo bethu uthi masiqhubeke! Makube ke phofu sele zipholile izinto ezihluphayo; Masiqhubeke ke!

Simshiyephi kanene uBrother Mpumezo no Sisanda? Oh sikhumbule ke...!

Waqalwa yila ngulo yakhe ke uMpumezo. Wamnyusa, wamzisa apha kuye, yena Mpumezo engqengqe ngomqolo. Bancamisana ke mnta ka bawo. Bemhunyhamhunyhana ukuncamisana oku. Wakhwela ngaphezulu uSisanda, wangxatha apha kuye oku komntu okhwele ihashe, wadlala ngesinqe phezu koMpumezo engayekanga ukumncamisa, ephatha kumbamba entloko, entanyeni kunye nase sifubeni. UMpumezo wayenga udibene nemfene erhuqa i-chain, esenza umgqumo ongaqhelekanga. Wayephatha kubamba iimpundu ezinkwetshelele, ezithe saa, abambe isinqe esijiko-jiko zizipejeje mfondini, abe esemqolo, emagxeni, esentanyeni. Undigqiba ngozama ifaka isandla ngaphantsi koshoti, kwekh, ingxamile lendoda. Wawungqina uvume uthi, uSisanda lo ukuyo yonke lento, kodwa ngesaquphe wathi;

Sisanda: (Esuka phezu koMpumezo) “Ha.a! This is not right”
Mpumezo: (Ezama ukumbamba) “Yima kaloku baby! Asikagqibi nje! Yiza ndiphuze kaloku”
Sisanda: (Emtyhalela kude kuye) “Ha.a Boet! Ndiyeke!”
Mpumezo: “Yintoni ngoku?”
Sisanda: “Ayonto!”
Mpumezo: “Kusuke kwathini? Ndenze ntoni?”
Sisanda: “Awenzanga nto! (Echopha apha ebhedini) Kushushu maaan”
Mpumezo: “Masibukhuphe ubushushu ngokbunye kaloku sweety! (Ezama ukumbamba) Khaze ndithi mathu kaloku love”
Sisanda: (Etshintsha ebusweni) “Khandiyeke torho! Okanye ndosuka ndigoduke mna! Cela izinto zam futiz...!”
Mpumezo: “Hay'bo joh! Awuzundipha ke ngoku? Bekanye nje!”
Sisanda: “Izinto zam kuqala, ezi ubundithembise ngazo”
Mpumezo: “Ukuba ndizithengile uzondipha?”
Sisanda: “Ewe! I promise you! Enye into kushushu, jonga nawe ubile ngathi ubuleqa isela”
Mpumezo: “Ndinyukelwe yi-BP kaloku! Ha! Ha! Ha!”
Sisanda: “Masambe kaloku, kwenzela sibuyele apho besiyeke khona! Are you game tiger?”
Mpumezo: “Utsho endodeni ke nontombi”

Waqubula isipaji sakhe. Kwayiywa!

Wayenamatshamba ke uphopho apha endleleni, aphathe kuzama ukubamba usisiza, ahambele kude atshintshintshe indlela yohamba, abambelele esinqeni kwalapha kuye, inga unamabatha ke xa ehamba oku.
Bakufika kwaVido Cash store, wathatha ngobiza yena uSisanda le ayifunayo, zeza zonke ke ezi zimuncu-muncu ngobunjalo bazo. Wabhatala ngomzimba ongenaxhala ubhutiza esazi nje ukuba umvuzo wazo uyeza.

Mpumezo: “Ingaba ikhona enye into ozishaya ngayo babes?”
Sisanda: “Cela usose uthenga iiplasticn please torho”
Mpumezo: “Ok! (Wabhekisa kumthengisi) Neplastiki ke sisi! Yimalini kanene?”
Sisanda: “Hay'maarn! (Esebenza) Not ezo kaloku! Ikhondoms!”
Mpemezo: (Ezothusa) OHHHHHH! Haska! Andiyisebenzisi man lonto! (Esebeza) Iyandiqinisa kaloku”
Sisanda: “Ohk!

Wakhupha iphone yakhe uSisanda. Wangena kuWhatsApp wakhangela umhlbo wakhe uAkhona, wambhalela wenjenje;

“Chomie; Rescue me! Cela ufounele iphone yam after 5min uthi ndiyafunwa ekhaya ngoku and uthi its urgent. Please my friends and come by my house sizotya ezimnandi ngoku!”

Babe sebephumeile kwaVido Cash Store ukungena kwe MESSEGE evela kuAkhona;

Akhona: “Uphi kanti wena my Chomp?”
Sisanda: “Siphuma kwaVido ngoku nalomntu. Founa torho!”
Akhona: “OHK!

Sisanda: (Ebhekisa kuMpumezo) “Baby, ndicela undilungiselele iphone yam torho, inengxaki yesipika. Asivakali kakuhle”
Mpumezo: “Sizoyisa kwa-Prince ayenze, ugqiba kwethu kaloku, zokwenzela”
Sisanda: “OHK!”

Yabe sele ikhala le phone ka Sisanda...! Wake wazulisa enga ngumntu onestress se spika. Wayicofa, wavula iLOUD SPEAKER inga yena ufuna usebenzisa esiya sokukhalisa umculo;

Sisanda: “HELLO”
Akhona: (Ekhwaza) “Yewena uphi? Kunini ufunwa apha kokwenu? Umamakho ufuna isitixo! Kunini efikile? Uphi Sisanda! Iwes ke sana uyathukisa umamakha and uthetha nangento yotrokwa kwakho uvalwa kwezkolo! Khobuye uzise isitixo! Coz ngoku wena ufunwa apha kum!”
Sisanda: (Ezothusa) “Iyhoooooo! Ndisekakeni ke sana! Ndiyeza kaloku ngoku! Ndilapha ngakwaVido! YhuuuuuwwwwwhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiI!!!!!”
Mpumezo: (Eyive yonke) Masikhawuleze kaloku sigqithe pha endlini, sithi nje and then ugoduke kaloku babes! Sizothi nje yabo!”
Sisanda: (Ethatha la plastiki inezinto) “Mamela, mandise isitixo and then ndizulise nje pha kumama. Ndizoza!”
Mpumezo: “Yeka kaloku ndihambe nazo, uzozityela pha endlini”
Sisanda: Ha.a kaloku ndifuna ukufika ndithi ndisuka etown mna nezi zinto kwenzela anganditroki lamama. Okanye ufuna nditrokwe wena? Ukuze ujole kakuhle ndingekho? Ndizoza no ngo ngo uvile?”

Yatsho imshiya apho lontokazi le yaseMpumezo! Kwek madoda...! Yemkisela intaka!

Kazi uyabuya nha uSisanda...! Abuye?

#DOUO

TESTIMONY TIME FROM A FAN (INBOX)

Hi Admin yho hay sana ndiyabulela ngale diary.Izinto ziyafihlwa klk etyalikeni kuzinyelwe ngegazi likaYesu sibe zi vampire zabazalwane ezingafuni Thixo sibe selfish kodwa we want his blood.Nam yakhe yandehlela into esabuMpumezo ndifunwa phantsi phezulu ngubrother ozalana nam ke phof uthandwa ukufa ekhaya.....hayke andifownele umntase akhonto mos andimemele kwakhe uzandibonisa ke indlu yakhe (RDP) ke phof hee hay sana umbane ngowe viva oko wawume 0.29 ndawlindela uba ucime wase waroast inkuku umntu,ngxi umbane .....wapheka wagqiba hay linene ke umntase shame kwelocala...ndakrokra ngoka wayendikhawlela estopini he hugged me n then went 4 my cheek.Ndandweba qha ndazfihla thyin eyoba ke ngk after sesihleli kwakhe ndizawhamba thyiniu amane endihugga funny hay waziveza efuna ukundiphuza...ndala ndath ungubhuti wam wena klk awnawze.....wazihleki-hlekisa....hay ke wandikhapha....uphindile this year ku bbm endimele uba ndiyombona 4 iweekend....ukwi worship team ke ubhuti....unengoma nangk hs released a cd...umcula 'you are holy' by Donnie McClurkin uhle umlilo....not that ilizwi limnandi but hs got something nje xa ecula.....yabe ke sana ngaloSunday yaloo weekend izoba yi Pentecost....khawve intombi kaMdala endim iawtele umzalwane omkhulu...hee ku awta mos oko.....qonda uyandicaphukisa kanjan coz kudala ndimnqanda and izawde ijampe nasendlini xa sendingasavani naye.Ndavuma naso isibhanxa sifaka imali kwaSpar ndifunda kude mos so ngoka ndandiye kwakhe ndandigodukile and ke R16 qha ukuya kwakhe.....ayfake nyan le mali....ndayobenga netshomi zam wafowna wancama efuna R100 yakhe.....oko endireyda koo bbm,facebook watsapp ndibala ntoni.Ndathi makandise ngaphambili uba nditye imali ebefuna ndim awtele wabe esithi ndimcingela kakubi.....ususela ngoko ndaba nezothe kuye....and that was my aim uba aphelelwe ngamandla kwisngcolo awayesifuna.Ubhala izinto eziyinyani Admin.

Keep up the good work.

#DOUO (Thank You sisi, siyabulela, inkosi ikugcine nangakumbi)

Scene #1.14 is following in shortly...!

Scene #1.13

Make sithi sti gxada kulo Mpumezo kancinci. Noko simkhumbule umfo omkhulu kwaye usuke naye wasinqabela...! Kaloku, besimshiye ese-mall ethenga ayithandayo de waphumela kwimali yeOIL. Wayesazi ukuba uzakulifumana icebo lokwenza laOIL, nokuba livele phi kodwa umfo omkhulu bekuthiwe makacinge. Ngoku sele esendlini sele ebuyile nakulondawo ebekuyo. Wayecinga yonke inyaka-nyaka le ilapha phandle. Ekhumbula yonke into emvisa kamnandi, yonke nje into. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ndiyakwazi ke wena mlesi, sele ucinga ukuba ukhumbula lanto kaThembela, okanye intloko! Hay;ke kule game umfo omkhulu ucinga ngokuma phambi kwezihlwele, ashumayele, okanye ajuxuze, okanye ajayvise ezintwazana. Wayeyithanda kakhulu urheme lonto.

Ngoku, uncokola no Sisanda noBonisa ngexesha elinye ku-WhatsApp. Uzingqengqele uMQwathi kwaye uphumle kamnandi. Wondlulile ke namhlanje, utshayele kwaye kubetha ivumba elitsho kamnandana. Kaloku urheme uthenge lamicinga iqhunyiswa ngama-China xa ebhujelwe okanye ama'Silamsi xa enqula inkosi yawo. Libophike elovumba kwakulehokana yakhe. Umamele uHlengiwe Mhlaba kwaye umvulele apha, kumaxa yena athi; “I KNOW I'M REACH”

Bonisa: “Cela sithethe kaloku xa siphuma ententeni. Anikabina mpendulo ngoku kodwa zobe ndinayo late:

Mpumezo: “Ndizokwenzela yonke into oyifunayo baby”

Sisanda: “Ewe singabonana xa ubuya ekerk kaloku, uzondixelela zoza”

Mpumezo: “Ndicela uze ngoku kaloku Sanda, I can't wait please baby”

Bonisa: “Mpumezo! Ndiyakuva, kodwa andifuni sithethe ngo-Whatsapp, ndifuna ukukujonga emehlweni xana usithi uyandithanda. So, ukuphuma kwe cawe! Uyalungisa ngoku?”
Mpumezo: “Uyandithanda phofu Bonisa?”

Sisanda: “Ok! Kodwa cela undithengele iyogat nechocolate, nedrink. If azikho andizi ke”

Mpumezo: “Yiza ngoku kaloku love, ndinaso nesithukuthezi”

Bonisa: “Ndiyakuthanda mna ewe, kodwa ngothando luka Krestu. Cela uyeke ke ndigqibezele ukusebenza. Ndizokubona late ke uvile?”

Mpumezo: “I can't wait babywam”

Wayenemincili umfo kucaca ukuba kodwa ezi zona iintaka zezakhe. Walaqaza apha endlini ejonga engalunganga, kaloku uSisanda usendleleni ezayo, kwaye kucaca phandle nje ukuba into yabo sele ilungile. Wafika le nalo Sisanda ulindelweyo, wachopha phezu kwebhedi. Wayenxibe oyena shoti uke wamfutshane. Enxibe ezimthe mfi imahla ukumbamba oku. Ndibona nje kwala pha ebeleni ukuba uke wawancedisa ukuwanyusa nawo, athe thwii kamnandana mforin. Urhuqisa iziliphaz ke usisi, ufake i-Cap nee shade. Hay'ke ingalo iyaxhakazela zezinto zabo.

Waqonda uMpumie okokuba eye Drink nezi zimuncu-nyongo zifunwayo zingamlibazisa. Wavela ngemva ke apha kuSisanda, wamanga, nomnye wayithi qhiwu intloko ukwenzela eka Mpumezo ifumane indawo yokuphumla nayo! USisanda wabamba iingalo zomfana, eziphulula, ecimele. Umfana naye selamne emphumza-phuza apha entanyeni mfondini, naye se ecimeeeeeeele!

Mpumezo: “Baby! Nyukela apha ebhedini! Singqengqe sobabini kaloku”

Sisanda: “Ha.a! Izinto zam kuqala!”

Mpumezo: “Sizokuya evenkileni kaloku sizithenge, ungabina wari”

Sisanda: “OHK!”

Watsho ekhaba ezoziliphazi usisi wanyukela emqamelelweni. Yangqengqa ngomqolo indedeba, yambeka kwesayo isifuba, sele kucaca nje mhlophe ukuba ayikho enophinda ithethwe ngoku, kugqityiwe. Lo ngowakhe!

Mpumezo: (Emjongile ntsho emehlweni) “Ndiyakuthanda Sisanda baby”

Sisanda: “OK! Noko kudala ndiyiva londawo!”

Waqalwa yila ngulo yakhe ke uMpumezo. Wamnyusa, wamzisa apha kuye, yena Mpumezo engqengqe ngomqolo. Bancamisana ke mnta ka bawo. Bemhunyhamhunyhana ukuncamisana oku.

Yima ke! Hoga! Hogaaaaaa mlesi!!!! Kunganjani sithi ukuyishiya ke le indawo? Noba ke sibuyela ententeni mhlawumbi!

Uyazazi kaloku ngokukhawuleza ukuqinelwa ngumthambo, okanye ukuntushuzelelwa linatsika...!

Ndime okanye ndiqhubeke nalento yenzekayo....? Ngumzalwane uMpumezo ke lo sithetha ngaye...!

#DOUO

Scene #1.12

Besaqukeza ooThembela noSizeka kwafika uma'Mfundisi. Waye ephethe amanye amalaphu kunye nezinye izinto ezingamaflawa, kodwa axicacanga nokuba yi fake yama flawa okanye kusini nha. Wayenzibe ndilisekileyo ke umem lo, Efake isikeyti esithsaka-thsaka esimnyama, ethe bhanti elikhulu mfondini, sele limthe mfi apha esinqeni ukuya pha kanye phantsi kwe bele. Ufake ke ipheke-pheke lomnqwazi ke, ejingisa ishades apha kanye kwi cleavage yakhe enkulukazi kunene. Unelizwi elikhulukazi umem kwaye uyathetha maaaaaaarnm!

Esangena pha emnyango wangxola ngokukekela kwee khethinz, wathethela ukuba mdaka kwamashiti aseqongeni, wathethela ukungagqitywa kokutshayelwa. Phofu ekwafuna ezintombi ziyothutha ezi zinto aze nazo emotweni.
Phofu ke yena wachopha kwesasitulo besihleli indoda yakhe ngokuya ibinantsika uThembela, wangena kuFacebook. Waya ngqo kwipage yengxaki zesijolo; Iingxaki Zesjolo e'Lowercrossroads apho afike kukho isitori sentombazana ethandana nomfundisi, oyithengelela into yonke. Ngoku lo sisi icela uncedo kuba ifuna ukwenza iyelenqe kumfazi ka mfundisi wabhala naye ke umamruti wenjenje;

“ Yesana ukuqhela kakubi! Akulale akugqiba akuxelele lonto? Ungasikhuphi esosusu nontombi, ugcine umntwana wakho. Rha kunganyiwa apha kum ndingamyela enkawini lomfundisi mna”

Wamane efunda ezinye iicomments zabanye abantu kunye nee posts esele zikhona. Wavakala ethetha yedwa kwaye ehleka;

“Yhuuuuuu! Yho! Hay'lo Brooklyn uyayenza into yakhe! Ha! Ha! Ha! Andisamthandi elo xesha”

Wathi akugqiba wacofa landawo ino'MESSAGE' kwalapha kule page, wabhala wenjenje;

“Hi Admin! Ndicela undiqhusheke kungaveli kungaveli nengono le yam. Ndicela ukubuza wethu ukuba; yenziwa yintoni nha ukuba indoda yakho, iphele inyanga ingakubambi, ingakuphuzi, ingakuphi? Okanye if ithe yacaca yakupha isuke yenze into encinci? Yogqiba ingakunaki? Ingaba isandithanda? Ndithini? Ndiyishiye? Sine 8 yearsn ke sisthatule nomfo lo. Ndicela ungalibali ke toto ukundifihla! Enkosi! Ungathukisa ke wena skheberetshe”

Wayithumela lonto umama umfundisi, akugqiba, wabheka-bheka ke nantsika. Zabe zivela ezantombi ziphethe iivazi, ezintyantyambo zingakholelekiyo;

Mamfundisi: “Uzuke wophule lovazi ke Thembela nje ngoba use wakekela nje, iqale nini ukusinda ivazi ngoku?”

Thembela: “Inamanzi mam and isusu sam sibuhlungu, andiyazi ukuba nditheni!”

Mamfundisi: “Ngalamanqina ndisoloko ndininqanda kuwo! Kunini ndisithi kuni musani ukuwatya lamanqina ojiweayo phandl'apha? Jonga ngoku, utyiwa ngawo! Uhleli usonqena ke wena! Uzohlabelela njanin namhlanje?”

Thembela: “I hope ndizoba right mam, ndizogoduka ndiyohlamba, ndizocela uthengelwa iipilisi pha ekhaya”

Mamfundisi: “Angeke ukwazi ukugoduka ntombazana! Ndizocela umamakho akuphathele into zakho zonxiba. Uyayazi ingxaki yakho! Uyathanda ukuba late...!”

Thembela: “Kodwa mama akhange ndihlambe ndizo...!”

Mamfundisi: “Ndithethile Thembela kwaye awuzukundiphikisa! Ungumntwana into oyiyo!”

Watsho sele ephakama umama, waya ngasemnyango. Kwacaba ulibele nto, wajika;

“Siphi isitixo sam nina? Andisiboni”

Wavula-vula ibhegi, waphutha-phutha, wahlukuhla kodwa engade asibone. Wampampatha ezipokothweni, emabeleni hayi asikho. Wakhwaza kwakhona! Kodwa suke bamwa ngentsini kucaca futhi ukuba bayasazi apho sikhoyo, bona babe beqhubeka nomsebenzi wabo...!

Mamfundisi: “Yenina ndakunibetha! Sanudlala ngam! Kwaye ndingxamile! Saphani esi sitixo!”

Waphendula uLindelwa ephelile yintsini;

Lindelwa: “Mama, ndicela ujonge esi sandla sine phone! Ayisositixo semoto yakho eso?”

Yajonga intombi enkulu, yasibona. Tshini! Kanti ixesha eli lonke ebengasiboni nha eso sitixo? Yho! Makube ikhona into emstresayo, inoba yintoni bethu?
Wanyoshosa engakhange athethe. Kunani u'Enkosi'? Hay kodwa abanye abantu...!

UMpumezo yena lithini elakhe ibali? Uphi? Wenzani? Nabani? Kufuneka ke siyokumgqogqa, andithi?

#DOUO

Scene #1.11

Lomlo kamfundisi noThembela awuzange ubekho kuyaphi. Kaloku loonto yabo yaphela nje emva kwemizuzu engaphelele phi. Yayibile indedeba inga inethiwe. Yayisosula ngehempe kunzima, ikwamanzi tixi nayo
Yakhe yawubamba umoya ukuwusela oku, kucaca ukuba ngelakhe uye ngamandla. Umbefu yayinga yidonki esinde kwingonyama. Wawusela umoya ingamthi umfo omkhulu ujike engcwabeni. Kwaye ezama ukuhlohla ihempe yakhe umfundisi inteshe sele ithe thu yonke ngaphandle, noko ke umfo lo yindoda elithandayo ithumbu layo.

Mfundisi: (Esakhefuzela) “Ndikuphe kamnandin nhe nana?”

Thembela: “Ewe tata!”

UThembela wake wachopha phantsi ebambelele esiswini ngesandla sasekhohlo, ngesinye isandla ezigqumile ebambelele ebunzi. Wahlala apho esinekile inga ikho lento imtyayo ngaphakathi esiswini. Aphathe kubrasha iinwele, osule ibunzi, intloko ayibeke phezu kwamadolo akhe. Makube kwenzeka ntoni bethu kuye?

Nam andazi...! Masithembe kodwa ayimenzakalisanga lenkokheli okanye ayimchananga! Kungenzeka! Kwekh, kungakubi!

Mfundisi: (Esemnyangweni wentente) “Thembela! Ndisayakulanda ooSiseko bazolungisa iSystem mna, ndizobuya nabo ngo 3 okanye ngo4...!”

Thembela: (Esaqubudile) “OHK!”

Ahambe lomfo. Angene emotweni yakhe, aqhube ihle ukuya kwindle yamaphala. Amise ku 4Way stop, abheka-bheke, athobe ifestile, ukuze afumane umoya opholileyo. Athi akubona ukuba lixesha lakhe lokuhamba ngoku, wawafaka amafutha, yasuka imoto. Ngesaquphe kanti kuze iphela elingakhange limise ku 4Way stop, labe lijuliwe ke, lapipiza, wazibamba iziqhoboshi umfundisi sele inga uhla eliweni, wavela ngefestile...!

Mfundisi: “Msunwakho! Yikaka yantoni le uyenzayo! Ukuba ubundigilile? Awumboni Way Stop? What the fuck you are doing?”

Umqhubi wephela: (Esusa iphela lakhe ze wangena endleni) “Hammmmbaaaaaaaaaa! Kunya!!!!!”

Mfundisi: (Ecaphuka) “You will burn in hell sathana ndini ongenambeko”

Waphuma wazama ukujonga imoto yakhe, wajonga amavili, wamane ewakhaba, kanti ke iziqhoboshi ube zibambile. Wazincoma ukuthandaza, kuba usinde ngezika zibi. Waqhuba wemka!

Emva ententeni. Washiyeka ese zingcingeni uThembela;

“Ukuba inokuthi kanti ndikhulelwe? Sitheni sibuhlungu kangaka isisu sam? Tjuoiuioiuuioi!!! Siyaqaqamba rhaaaaa! Bendingenwe yintoni ukuze ndilale nomfundisi? Ukuba bekunongena abantu? Yhoooooo! Ndiyayenza into kodwa! Bekutheni bathu? Bekutheni ukuze ndinxibe esisikeyt sifutshane ke khona kodwa ndiqhele ukunxiba ibhrukhwe xa ndiza apha? Ikhondom? Sisebenzise ikhondom kanene? Hay! Yhoooo! Kodwa ndike ndibe muncu ke yaz...? Iyhhhuuuuuuuwwwwwiiiiiiiii!”

Kungene uSizeka ephethe amalaphu oku-decorator kunye namashiti okugquma iqonga neetafile, ne pulpit. Upholile ke ukunziba oku kwaye kuyacaca ukuba yintombi yaphandle apha. Amathanga angaphandle onke, icleavage ithe thuhlu, uzijika-jikile ke iinwele usisiza lo. Ubupeyntile ke nobuso obu bakhe.

Sizeka: (Bexhoma amalaphu) “Undi-WhatsAppele kaloku uBonisa. Wandixelela ukuba naye uyamthanda uBrother Mpumezo”

Thembela: (Othukile) “Huh? Hay'wena suxoka!”

Sizeka: “Ewe! Bebese Prominade ke sana! Bebekhupheni futhi!”

Thembela: “Hay'suka! Abajoli abo! Inoba bebeyothenga iOIL kaloku, ulibele?”

Sizeka: “Yesana andisoze ndixoke ngento enje! UBrother Mpumezo ucele umtshato kuBonisa namhlanje ekuseni...! Kodwa akakathi 'ewe' uBonisa. Bebese Prominade Mall ekseni ngoko and I can imagine abantu...! Yhuuuuu! Iromentic landoda! Tjiooo! Se ndamrhalela ke ngoku!!!!”

Thembela: “YHO! Phakathi kwabantu? Yhoooo! Andicingai sana! Uzovuma ke ngoku uBinie? Hay sana ndiyamvuyela”

Baqhubeka belungisa apho ententeni de kwabuya uLindelwa nye wancedisa...!

#DOUO

Scene #1.10

Kusesekuseni pha ngo 10:13am amaxesha. Intokazi enguThembela iyavuka, iqale ijonge iphone yayo. Ifike kugcwele yimiyalezo ku whatsapp, iqalw iqwalasele le ingxamisekileyo, iphendule. Eminye imiyalezo iyigqitha nje, makube yayingacacanga. Wawungekho kodwa ovela kuMpumezo! Yamtyhafisa ke lonto kodwa kucaca nje mhlophe ukuba ebnqwenela ukuqala usuku ngomyalezo ovela kwinkosi yakhe ayithanda kunene. Waqubula ibrash yokuhlamba umlomo, wafaka intlama yokucoca amazinyo, wathatha ijagi waya phande etepini. Ndiyabona intombi enkulu yaziqaphela sekungapha ukuba upresekile ngumchamo, wagqwidiza ukuya emnyangweni wangasese ukuya kuchama kuqala. Akugqiba, wama ngase tepini ke, waxukuxa. Akugqiba wakh'amanzi ngalajagi, wawagalela ekomini, walanda izinto zokuhlamba ubuso, wabuva!

Kungene umyalezo kuWhatsapp, yabe sele ithambisa intokazi izimamarisha ke ngento zakhona ubuzo obu. Wawuvela kuLindelwa umyalezo lowo;

“Ncekukazi, ndisendleleni eza apho kuwe. Andiphangelanga ke namhlanje, ndiyathemba ke ukuba sele uvukile! Ndiyeza!”

Yayinga angaphendula uThembela, athi; Hayi sukuza apha ekhaya andikho! Ntonje wabethwa lelagama lithi ndisendleleni.

Wasose waplaga ke amanzi okuvasa izitya zaphezolo, wazileqa ke zona ukuziqhatha nje oku, inga uzisusa nje amafutha alapens ubutyiwa phezolo apho kokwabo. Wafika ke obezibikile! Wasole wamenzela amanzi ashushu ukuba abe elibazisa, wabe ephunga omnye.

Lindelwa: “Ndithunywe ngumfundisi ukuba ndizokulanda”

Thembela: “Uzondilanda? Siyaphi? Ha.a ndisezoklina mna apha ekakhaya”

Lindelwa: “Kumele kucociwe kaloku pha ententeni oomfundisi nabo baphayana balungisa intente”

Thembeal: “Itheni intente leyo yalungiswa?”

Lindelwa: “Caba umoya uphantse wayiwisa kaloku phezolo, ngoku bayalilungisa. Masambe kaloku”

Thembela: “Kulungile! Yima ke ndinxibe iskeyt sam sejean, ndikhulule le pijama”

Wahamba wayojikela ekamerweni uThembela. Wafika, wakhulula ezopijama, wanxiba ipeynti, iboots, iskeyt sejini esifutshane, iskipa, kunye nejezi ngentla. Wothula lapeytihose alala ngayo, ide inoontshontsho ke lonto, wazilungisa iinwele ke ezi zifakelwayo ke.

Basendleleni!

Ekufikeni kwabo ententeni. Yabe iliphela lika mfundisi qha elime ngaphandle. Ekunye nomfananyana ekucaca nje lo ubizwe nje ezidlulela ukuba azoncedisa. Waphiwa ke lomfana iR20 engu ENKOSI! Wayibetha! Zaqala ke zaqukeza ezintombi zombini, zitshayela. Kwekh! Inkulu ke nalo ntente (6 poles) and igcwala ithi qhu xa sele kucaciwe ngamarhamente.

Mfundisi: “Lindelwa!”

Lindelwa: “Tata”

Mpundisi: “Ndicela wena ube ukhwela iphela, uyokuthenga iimvlop zezishumi pha ePlazza ePhilippi. Ukhangele nento yokutya nesiselo, ukuze ningalambi. USizeka usendleleni so akuzuhlala yedwa uThembela”

Lindelwa: “Kulungile tata”

Waye wahamba ke uLindelwa. Yashiyeka yodwa le yaseThembela nendoda enkulu omnye etshayela ngapha, omnye echophe esitulweni seplastiki, ebukele lamathanga aphambi kwakhe. Wayemane ebheka-bheka, ephatha kujonga phandle akugqiba ajonge lomntwana umile kauhle uphambi kwakhe. Aphathe kubeka umlenze phezu komnye, awutshintshe, acuphe ukuhlala oku esitulweni, abe bulala, aphathe kufaka izandla phakathi kwemilenze. Kwenzeka ntoni ngoku kwindoda ka Thixo?

Yona intombi ayimnakanga, iziculela uI DON'T CARE wengoma yayo ayinangxaki.

Mfundisi: “Thembela!”

Suke wayinyusa ingoma umntwana kucaca nje mhlophe ke phofu uyivile le ndoda ka Thixo imbiza kodwa wazixelela ngodukisa...!

Mfundisi: (Ebugadlela ukukhwaza oku) “Thembela ndiyakubiza! Akundiva?”

Thembela : (Ezothikisa) “Baby? Yhooo! Mfundisi? Uxolo!”

Yamkhweba lendedeba yakulo Yesu ingamjonganga kodwa ijonge phandle. Wayiyeke nale ebexakeke yiyo uThembela wasondela. Yamcela lendoda ukuba ahlale apha phezu kwayo, nayo ayabe iqondisisa intombi, yahlala. Senyuka ke neso sikeyti mfondini, suke saveza kanye nezindawo zimhlophe kunezinye apha ethangeni. Umniniso naye akasinaka.

Mfundisi: “Kutheni udukisa xa ndikubizayo ngoku nana?”

Utsho urheme sele emane ebrasha-bhrasha amathanga alentombi. Nayo phofu isose yahlala ngokunga ivulela iinkomo zikayise ziphume eentlantini zakokwayo. Wawungayibona mfondini iKanana yakuloMozizi mfondini xa wawunokuchopha apha phambi kwayo.

Thembela: “Bendingakuva kaloku nje baby! Yhooo hay'maaaan! Mfundisi!”

Mfundisi: “Undibiza kamnandi maaaan xa usithi 'baby' khaphinde futhi...!”

Thembela: “Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha.a! Kumele ndiziqhelise kaloku eli lika tata okanye, ndosuka ndibhude phakathi kwabantu! Ha.ana sukundinyusa iskeyt torho! Ba kungangena umntu apha!?”

Mfundisi: “Akhomntu unongena maaaarn!”

Thembela: “Ubungathi uSizeka uyeza nha?”

Mfundisi: “Ha.a! Bendigxotha lo uzenza kleva, nam bendifuna ke ndibe nethuba nawe! Ndiyakukhumbula Thembie”

Sele esifake saphelela ngaphantsi kwe peynti yentombi umfo wakwaThixo. Iqwela intombi ide ingathi ingxathile ukuhlala oku, inga ingahlala itwetwe nantsika! Esinye isandla sele sifuthuza phakathi kwamabele ngaphantsi kwesikipa. Ayingombono oncumisayo kodwa lo. Kodwa kubaniniwo kweeeeewwwwwuuuuuuuuu! Bangakubulala! Umfundisi wayegobe umqolo ingathi yibhokhwe etyelwe itakane ngudyakalashe, iminwe emibini eyifake yaphelela ebunantsikeni bukaThembela...!

Thembela: (Engasakwazi nokuthetha kakuhle oku) “Ha.ana! Ndicela siyake! Eish! Mmmmh! Pheza ngoku! AaaaaaaAh! Yhu! Phe e e e za! AaaaaAAAAaaaaAAAH!!!!

Mfundisi: (Sede wasisitshotho ngoku umfo omkhulu) “Ima! Ima! Ima! Ndizothi nje kancinci! Ima!”

Yatsho ikhulula ibhanti layo lanto sekucaca nje ukuba ayisakwazi nokuzibamba oku! Yamhlalisa apha phezu kwayo uThembela inga ufunqulekile apha kuyo, kwekh, yanga ngathi uyaxhuzula umfo omkhulu, eyiqinise selentombi, eyibambe nomlomo ze ingangxoli...!

Lomlo wathatha nje imizuzu emibini enesiqingatha...

Kwathi besa....!

#DOUO

Scene #1.9

WhatsApp convesation.

Sizeka: “Chocho! Yithi uyadlala! UBrother Mpumezo? Yhoooooo #Shocked#”

Bonisa: “LOL! Crus ke tana”

Sizeka: “Hay'bo kanti akasindiswanga nha umshumayeli nha?”

Bonisa: “Vele nda shocked sana”

Sizeka: “Kothuke mna sana kaloku! UMpumezo?”

Bonisa: “Yena kanye chomp”

Sizeka: “So ke chomie, wena ke ngoku wathini?”

Bonisa: “Ndithe masiyincokole via WhatsApp ngelinye ixesha, kodwa akakandiWhatsAppeli ke sana”

Sizeka: “Yho! Ok! Kutheni ndine-feeling yokuba ikhona into ondifihlela yona Bonisa? You can tell me everything kaloku my friend...!”

Bonisa: “Ha.a chomie andikufihleli nex, kodwa ewe shame nam ndiyamthanda ubhutiza and if naye unyanisile ngam, I will go for it”

Sizeka: “Hay'wena? Umzalwane? Estrict kangaka ubhut'Mpumezo Bonie? Tjiiioooooooo! Inoba sana nizotshata straight nina kaloku...!”

Bonisa: “Kodwa Zeka, uMpumezo mhle, unxiba kakuhle, usoloko enuka iperfume kamnandi, ucula kamnandi, uyashumayela and uyathandeka shame coz uyafikeleleka. Akafani nabanye abazalwane, ufike benxibe iibhatyi ezimbatshileyo, ezakdala, ezikrazukileyo and ke sana, who knows ndingatshata soon...! Indala kaloku intombi and naye umfana usexabisweni lokutshata!”

Bonisa: “Yhooooooo! Yesana! Umthandile uMpumie nhe? Ndiva kwa indlela le oncokola ngayo ukuba awuzukuliwisa tu...! Heeeeeeeeee! Ukunyobe nge pie wanxila sana ngoku sele umfuna apha!”

Bonisa: “LOL! Khayeke forin, lisoka eliya and ke akahlalwa ntombi pha ekerk, so akanamntu, izoba ngowam ndodwa yaqonda! Kwaaaaaaaaa! Sana let me go, iTEATIME yam sele iphelile! See you later”

Sizeka: “Ok ke sana! Cela undiphathele ipanini ke uvile, zokubhatala”

Bonisa: “OK! Byeeeeeeeee mncwaaaaaaa! Love you!”

Yavele nje yatyhileka lentombi kucaca ukuba inga sele imqomile uBrothers! Wasuke wahlala engqondweni yakhe umfo lo imini yonke. Suke ahleke yedwa, suke, ancume yedwa, suke uve sele ebhude ngegama lika Mpumezo xa encokola kula thili asebenza kuyo. Noko kwakungaxakekwanga namhlanje, kwaye nje nasevenkileni kuphole nje kakuhle. Umfanekiso kaMpumezo kweyalentombi ingqondo wawuthe thaa! Kwekh, uthandiwe umfo apha suka!
Kumanxa ephi kanene uMQwathi omde?

Uzigqibe zonke ke umfo omkhulu iivenkile zempahla zamadoda. Ethenga zihempe, zikipa, zihlangu, mabhanti, zijezi, amaqhina kunye nempahla yangaphantsi. Kwacaca nje mhlophe ukuba uya ephumeal nakulemali ebezothenga ngayo lamafutha ebeyaleziwe ukuba aze athenge wona. Wathenga izinto zothambisa umfo omkhulu, kaloku waziwa ngazo, umva eseza pha kude ze uqonde ukuba iQwathi elihle ligalelekile.

Uzakuxoza mphini wuphi malunga neOIL?

Asazi....!

# DOUO

Scene #1.8

Its 08:30 Monday morning and Mpumezo is on his way to Prominade Mall in Mitchell's Plain. He met Sisanda along the way;

Mpumezo: “Heita!”

Sisanda: “Hello sweets”

Mpumezo: “How are you?”

Sisanda: “All sweet and how about you?”

Mpumezo: “God has bee great, Thank You! So, usuka phi elixesha?”

Sisanda: “Intombi ayibuzwa ukuba ivela phi ekuseni mfo”

Mpumezo: “Hasuka! Ngoba kutheni? Ndiyakubuza kaloku mna!”

Sisanda: “Alright! Fine I will tell you! Khaqale undithengele i-stoney torho, ndinebhabhalaza!”

Mpumezo: “OHK! Masigqithe pha ema-Somaliyeni ndikuzame”

And they went to buy that drink at the Somalian nationals spaza shop. When they got there, he took out a R100 note and bought a 1.5l stoney drink, a chocolate (Slab) bar and a R30 MTN airtime and all of these items were for Sisanda. And he gave her another R40 so that she can buy herself anything. They went back on the street and stood there for about 20 minutes more! What they were chatting about is unknown, I was too far to hear anything by that time. All I can tell you, they shared a hug and a baby-kiss xa babesahlukana.

He went to catch a taxi to Mitchell's Plain, near the school that is being built opposite the Police Station/Library and he had to wait for the taxi to be full and while on the back seat, came in Bonisa.

Bonisa is one of Sizeka's friends, you will remember her phayana ententeni chatting with Sizeka about Lindelwa, Thembela and Siseko. She was going to work, and she is working at Pick 'n Pay eProminade Mall. Inye moss le ndlela, andithi?

Babulisele, ze wazohlala apha ecaleni komzalwane wakhe uBonisa. Unxibe i-uniform yomsebenzi kwaye efanekile kulabhrukhwe yomsebenzi. Kwakushushu kwaye intombi i-cleavage iyithe qhakra yonke ngaphandle. Umfo omkhulu wayemane egxelesha esi sifuba sirhalelekayo. Inge unombono sele ewamunca okanye ewancanca lomabele. Makhulu kwaye uwanyusile ke umakazi, naaango, ngasesilevini! Kwek! Yenye intlobo yendoda kodwa le...!

Mpumezo: “Kanti nawe ukuFacebook? Ndicela undi-Add(e) kaloku nam”

Bonisa: “Ndikhangele ngokwakho kaloku, mna ndizoku-accepter”

Mpumezo: “OK! So, andizubethwa moss xa ndincokola nawe ku-WhatsApp or Facebook?”

Bonisa: “Ngubani kanene? Coz ke andinamntu mna”

Mpumezo: “Yindoda yakho tshini! Awunandoda kanti?”

Binisa: “Ha.a! I don't have a man! You know moss, that you all are the same and what you do, you just breaking our hearts and playing with us”

Mpumezo: “Not all os us are the same, besides, I am a man of God and I will never play with your heart. My job as a man of God is heal broken hearts and mend them and make a woman happy! It is my job”

Ngoku itaxi sele idlula eStockroad Train Station...!

Bonisa: “Uthini ngoku mzalwane wam! Andikuva ke ngoku tu! Kwaye mandikuve mzalwane wam! Uthini kanye ngoku?”

Mpumezo: “Awundiva ndawoni na ma-Bonie?”

Bonisa: “Ndigqibele sithetha ngee-social networks kaloku mna, ngoku undilahlile, buya mzalwane wam. Usekhona? Ndiyawukhalimela kodwa loomoya!” (Ebuhlaka kodwa)

Mpumezo: “I won't lie Bonisa, i've been looking at you for quite sometime now and I have feelings for you and ndiyakuthanda...!”

Bonisa: “Ingathi sele ndizokohlika mna ngoku, iya eProminade ngoku itaxi and shame andikuva mna tu. Kaloku, usindisiwe Mpumezo kwaye bekumele woyiselwe kwezo iincoko and ngoku ndiyadana xa ikwa nguwe ozothi uyandithanda. Ithini into yakho na bhuti? Umbaxa?”

Mpumezo: “Nam ke ndiza apha eProminade! (Besohlika kunye eteksini) Bendisatsho kaloku, mna ndizithandela wena! Yima ungagilwa zezimoto zala-malawu! (Bawela indlela, banqumla ukuya ngasemnyango we mall) Ndiyakuthanda Bonisa, kwaye ndijonge lukhulu kuwe sisi. Ndifuna...”

Bonisa: (Cuts in) “Please, lets talk via WhatsApp or Facebook, I am kinda late now and ndilambile ndifuna ukufika ndiqale nditye...!”

Mpumezo: “Ndingabe ndikuthengela i-pie apha kwa-Pie City if uyafuna...!”

Bonisa: “Heeee! Uyithatha phi ke wena imali? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ndingavuya bhuti...! Ndicela i-stake and kidney ke mna bhuti, ne juice...!”

Bakugqiba uthenga baye bangana ze bohlukana, omnye wakhwela eyakhe imfene wasingisa apho abe ebhalele khona, nomnye waqubula kokwakhe...!

Kazi ifuna ukuba yintoni na lento yalo mshumayeli weendaba zakwalizwi?

Masimakhele umkhanyo ke mlesi...!

# DOUO

Scene #1.7

Sisesententeni thina...! Uphi wena?

Mpumezo: (Ekhwaza) “Nilele na bazalwane? Niskhona! MAAAAALLLLLIIIIIIBBBBBOOOOONNGWWWWEEEEE IGAMA LENKOOOOOOOOOSI”

Ibandla: (Abanye sebeme ngeenyawo, abanye beyiyizela, abanye besenza nje ingxolo emnandi)

Mpumezo: (Elungisa ibhrukhwe yakhe, kunye neqhina) “Ndizothatha imali! Mazilunge izipaji! Nani boo mama tshonani ederi, madoda khuphani kootokhwe, ndifuna senze kanje bangcwele...! Haleluya! Ndicela usiphamisele phezulu isipaji sakho! Sikhuphe! Sikhuphe! Sikhuphe! Ukubana ngaba awunaso isipaji, wubambe umnikelo wakho! Uwubambe ngesandla! Phakamisa! Phakamisa! OH Yes Jesus! (Wathetha ngezilwimi umfo engatyhilekanga ebusweni) Phakamisa umnikelo wakho! Master Jesus! Ndicela ukuba uphethe umnikelo weR1000 uze ngaphambili ndikusikelele! OH Yes God! (Benyuka, kodwa beliqaqobana) Bless you in the name of Jesus! Amen! (Waphinda watya kwizilwimi unkabile) Ndicela ukuba uzonikela ngeR200 ukuya kwi R500 baleka uzothatha intsikelelo yakho ngoku! In mighty wonderful name of Jesus! (Kwek! Noko lenyuka inani kwaye wababeka izandla nabo) Bless you! (Unento ke nokutyana nezizilwimi) Ukuba uzonikela ngeR10 ukuya kwiR100 iza khawuleza! (Iyhooooooo! Phantse umndilili wonke wenyuka! Uzijiwuzisa iR10, R20, R50 kunye neeR100. Sekukho naba banikela ngeenkozo ke Nkosi yam) Ndicela abantu ababuya iiEnvelops bangcwele bazi zise ngoku apha kum! Ufaka isishumi sakho, umnikelo wakho! Buyisa lomvlophu ngoku! Abasafuna imvlophu mabeze kuzithatha nazi! Haleluya!”

Wawungafunga ukuba uMpumezo ebethengisa iintloko zegusha ndlela le yayicumbe ngayo la mali kwesasitya inga sesokuhlambela. Ininzi, kwek! Andinayo nepeni emdaka ke mna eloxesha.

Wakhweba udad'uThembela umfo omkhulu akugqiba ukuyithandazela la mali uMpumezo. Wakugqiba wanikezela inkonzo kumfundisi ukuba adlise izimvu zika Thixo.

Ukuba torho bendikwazi ukushumayela, bendiyakuyichaza ngqo lantshumayelo kamfundisi, ntonje ndibethwa bubuhedeni apha kum. Kodwa endingakutsho; umfo omkhulu washumayela ngoYesu evusa uLazaro engcwabeni. Umyalezo wakhe usithi; “PHUMA ENGCWABENI” Kwek! Wabetha kwavokotheka umfundisi, evutha amalangatye omlilo, ebile ethe xhopho! Ikhola le yesheti yayimanzi toxo, kucaca ukuba umzimba uwkhupha onke amanzi. Kwakunzima kwisininzi; abanye begxwala; abanye bencwina; kuzizikhalo nezijwili ngapha; abanye ke benemihlali yintshumayelo yendoda enkulu; abanye bezibhuqa-bhuqa phantsi; abanye bexhome izandla phezulu; abanye inga bayaxhuzula mfondini; abanye inga babone isithunzela...! Wabe emile umfo wakwaThixo; “PHUMA ENGCWABENI”

Kweenyuka iinkitha eninzi ingabizwanga ukuyozamkelela uYesu...! Abanye bafike baguqa, abanye beme ngeenyawo, abanye yayinga bayalunywa bebambe eziswini. Kwek! Andifuni ukuxoka nam ndaya! Ndixhome ezam izandla nam, ndifuna loYesu kamfundisi, noMpumezo! Nam ndamkeliswa, ndathandazelwa!

Ukuphuma kwemvuselelo, yabaziziqhu ke abazalwanye becinga ukugoduka, abanye baleqa amaphela, abanye baya kwezabo iimoto, abanye nabo bethwakuza ngeenyawo. Abanye basala beqoqosha ke apha ententeni. Nanko ke uSizeka esecaleni kukaSiseko. Ndibona nje mhlophe ukuba uziyele pha engabizwanga, ngoba umfo lo yena uxakekile uyaqoqosha. Ngelingeni wabuyela kubahlobo bakhe omnye kucaca ukuba uyifumene kodwa inumber kaSiseko.

Mpumezo! Mfundisi! Makube uThembela ugqibile ukubala umnikelo ngoku”
Pastor: (Engamjonganga) “Dibana naye kaloku uqonde pha kuye!”

Mpumezo: “Kulungile mruti”

Wanyoshoza unkabi ukusondela kwindawo ehleli uThembela namanye amanenekazi.

Thembela: “Ewe bhuti ndigqibile! Iyonke izishumi neminikelo zenze iR9,458.80”

Mpumezo: “So, wenze njani ke? Ubanikile oKeyboard player imali yabo? Kunye noMC?
kunye neWorshippers? Eyombane yona sele uyikhuphile?”

Thembela: (Emnika iEnvelop) “Hay bhuti ngumsebenzi wenu kaloku lowo”

Mpumezo: “Kulungile ke nkosazana! Ndicela undilinde ke ungandishiyi”

Waye wamane enika lo kumele amnike imali, ngokwesiqingatha ekuvunyelwene ngaso. De wagqiba!

Pastor: (Esamkela imali) “Iphelele apha Brother Mpumezo?”

Mpumezo: (Enqwala ngentloko) “Ewe mfundisi”

Pastor: “Kulungile! Mamela ke! Kufuneka sithengise iOIL ke mzalwane wam! Wena, vuka kusasa uyoyikhangela! Nokuba ufumenene iOLIVE OIL, siyithandazele, siyifake intambiso kunye nogcobo lukaMoya oyiNgcwele...! Izakuba nceda abantu mzalwane wam”

Mpumezo: “Kulungile mfundisi! Ndizakwenza njalo nam! Ifumaneka phi kanene le oil? Ingaba asizudleka ngenxa yayo? Uyayazi kaloku amarhamente awafuni kukhupha mali, ngamagqolo”

Pastor: “Khululeka mzalwane wam! Bazakuwabona amandla eOIL wena! Bawakuthamba beze nomnikelo, nayo bayithnge! Uzakubona!”

Mpumezo: “Kanti ke mfundisi! Singayithenga neFISH OIL ze simane sithulula kuyo sigalela ezimbodleleni, abazuyazi ukuba yeyiphi, as long iyiOIL qha”

Pastor: “Kaloku mzalwane wam, nawe bona undlela lula, indlela engazusenza simkelwe yimali qha singenelwe yeninzi. Mna ndifuna ukude ndibethe ngomnyobo weBMW mfondini. Kaloku, asiphangeli, ngoku kumele nathi sizenzele imali, uyaqonda?”

Mpumezo: “Ndiyakuva tata! Yeka ndiyokucinga! UThembela undilindile, ndithe makandilinde! Sizakubonana ngomso! Uthe kushumayela bani kanene ngomso?”

Pastor: “Ndiplane uSiyabulela kaloku ngomso! Kodwa andimthembanga! Lidyudyu maaarn! Kwaye ligwala! Kuleveki yokuqala ndifuna ibesithi sodwa kuqala, sizikhele sanele! Kule izayo, ndizozisa amadoda kaNkulu-nkulu, abefundisi endihambisana nabo! Umgoduse ke uThembela! Bendiyomcela ngokwam kokwabo, kwaye uncede ungamlibazisi. Siyevana?”

Mpumezo: (Ehamba) “Kulungile Mruti”

Kulamnikelo, unikwe iR2500 yokunkala iOIL, ze yena, abe ezitswebele iR1655. Kwek lomzalwane! Unjani na yena?

UThembela werhuthu iR200 edibeneyo, kucaca nje uyikhupha phakathi kwezinye...!

Thembela: (Emnika) “Ndicela uthathe laR100 yakho undinike eyam. Ndizokwenza ngayo intloko lomali ngomso...!

Andidane kengoku...!

#DOUO